Chapter 26.1 (Part 1 of 3) – Every Day the Protagonist Wants to Capture Me
Chapter Title: Wedding Festivities
Chu Yu thought that he must have heard it wrong: “What? What do you mean enter the bridal chamber?”
…Based on this red veil, the groom … it must be the older version of Xie Xi in front of him. The bride is … this unworthy Chu Yu?1
Chu Yu was still staring at Xie Xi, stupefied, when Xie Xie suddenly smiled. He leaned closer to Chu Yu, as he said in a warm, magnetic whisper: “Are you feeling shy? Yu-er …”
After he said “Yu-er,” he suddenly bent over and swept Chu Yu off his feet. Chu Yu has already been frightened like this before so now he can calmly let Xie Xi pick him up and walk to the bridal chamber filled with red silk.
Chu Yu raised his head to gaze at the exquisite chin of the person holding him. Then he lowered his head slowly and thought calmly about this situation.
First of all, he and Xie Xi had entered the Mausoleum Ruins but Song Jingyi had “accidentally” misstepped.
Secondly, he raised this child and knows that Xie Xi is only 16 years old this year. He is not this man who is taller than him.
So … this Xie Xis in front of him is fake?
Chu Yu silently summoned Xun Sheng, ready to stab this person to death, but then he thought about it more and poked the System: “Is this taller version of that person the protagonist? What happens if I kill him?”
The System laughed and said: “A friendly hint to the host ~ The protagonist in front of you is the real protagonist ~ If the protagonist dies ~ your score will go down to zero ~”
Chu Yu broke into a cold sweat and hurriedly put away Xun Sheng at once.
Alright, this is the protagonist … but why did he and protagonist get married?!
Chu Yu was still shouting complaints in his mind when Xie Xi carried him into a room. The room was hung with festive red cloth outside while the inside was separated by a sandalwood screen for privacy. Chu Yu looked at the big bed that seemed familiar. After examining it for a moment, he was silent.
Isn’t this his room in Maple Valley …?
Chu Yu silently struggled to escape from Xie Xi’s embrace. Xie Xi didn’t make things difficult for him and tenderly put Chu Yu down. His dark eyes had a gentle and tolerant look in them, like a lovely clear night sky.
Being looked at like that by those eyes made Chu Yu feel uncomfortable. His mouth opened and he blurted out: “Shidi …”
Xie Xi was surprised and said: “Yu-er, you haven’t called me Shidi for a long time.”
When he heard “Yu-er” again, Chu Yu felt even more uneasy and he was barely able to maintain a normal expression on his face. His voice trembling, he asked: “Then what do I … call you?”
Chu Yu was so scared that Xie Xi would say “husband” that he almost collapsed.
If he isn’t mistaken, he and Xie Xi should be caught up in an illusion. But …why is a good “stud” harem master happily married to a cannon fodder in this fantasy land?! Ha, ha!
Xie Xi looked at him strangely: “You call me by my name.” Then he smiled and said: “Yu-er, henceforth I would be delighted if you wanted to call me something else.”
Don’t even think about it!
Chu Yu suppressed the impulse to give him the middle finger. He looked left and right but didn’t see anyone else around. Suddenly, he felt a hot body behind him, then his waist was tightly embraced. A faint pine scent surrounded him as Xie Xi enfolded Chu Yu’s whole body in his arms. Chu Yu was shocked and used the back of his hand to feel the temperature of Xie Xi’s forehead: “Why are you so hot? Do you have a fever?”
The man laughed softly in his ear: “Think what you want to think.”
His hot breath scorched Chu Yu’s ears. The delicate fragments of sound assaulted Chu Yu’s ears, making his legs so weak. Chu Yu secretly scolded himself and tried to push Xie Xi’s head away but his ears were suddenly licked by a warm tongue then lightly nibbled.
What the ****!
Chu Yu was so terrified that he almost jumped out his own skin, but that wasn’t even the most shocking thing. He tried to push Xie Xi away but he just tightened his grip on Chu Yu’s waist. Before he could do anything, Chu Yu was pushed down on the bed and a kiss fell on his lips. After a short pause, Xie Xi unceremoniously pried open his mouth. Their lips and tongues entwined; their hot breaths were full of the other’s scent.
What the ****!
This is too much!
Chu Yu was frightened out of his wits,2 but for some reason his limbs seemed weak. He tried his best to push Xie away. With some difficulty, he forced Xie Xi away, or perhaps Xie Xi just let him go.
Now that the shackles on his body had disappeared, Chu Yu tried to run but Xie Xi was ready for him. Xie Xi smiled and shook his head as he used one hand to press Chu Yu back down on the bed.
Bang! The back of Chu Yu’s head hit the porcelain pillow. His eyes rolled back in his head and he could barely breathe from the pain. That ****ing pillow!
When he finally regained his composure he felt that his chest was cold. The next moment his outer robe was already removed and his inner robe was pulled apart, exposing most of his red and white chest as well as his delicate collar bones.
Xie Xi knelt above him, his knees against Chu Yu’s hips and his hands on either side of Chu Yu’s face. He was smiling and the expression in his eyes was unfathomable.
Chu Yu was frozen with fear.3 His eyes twitched: “Shidi, let’s talk …”
Xie Xi did not speak. He lowered his head until his lips touched Chu Yu’s lips, licking and kissing.
Chu Yu was dizzy and confused. A cold hand on his chest climbed up his chest then slowly moved down, past his belly. It slipped inside his pants then rubbed a part that couldn’t be described.
Chu Yu’s eyes widened in shock.
Xie Xi’s voice, hoarse with passion, was in his ears: “Yu-er … Shixiong.”
His lips and tongue were kissed by Xie Xi. Chu Yu continuously struggled but seemed weak. He twisted from side to side for a while then did not dare to move any longer.
The “third leg” that was unexpectedly held was standing up.
What the ****!!! Don’t play with that!!! What are you doing?!!! He and Xie Xi aren’t really in a bridal chamber!!!4
Chu Yu reached out and pinched himself, cursing himself for reacting under a man’s caress. He took a deep breath then tried to use his hands to push Xie Xi away. It was a pity that Xie Xi was even taller than him at this moment.
Xie Xi gently restrained Chu Yu’s hands with one hand above his head. He lowered his head to kiss Chu Yu’s neck.
Chu Yu’s neck was his most sensitive spot. He caught his breath then couldn’t hold back a faint moan from escaping his lips.
Xie Xi’s eyes brightened. He started licking Chu Yu’s Adam’s apple. He opened his mouth then bit Chu Yu’s neck.
Chu Yu gritted his teeth, driven beyond the limits of forbearance : “Get off me!”
Xie Xi gasped and looked up at him with shining eyes:5“Yu-er?”
Chu Yu finally found time to breathe and tried to recall what he knew of from the original novel.
The novel said that the illusion spells in the Mausoleum Ruins reveals the heart’s desire of people. The illusions make people indulge in their desires until they die without ever waking up from the dream.6
He is clear-headed but Xie Xi is not. It seems like it’s Xie Xi’s heart’s desire that is reflected by the illusion.
… Wait a minute.
Xie Xi’s heart’s desire … is to go to get married and go to bed with him?!
Chu Yu’s body went stiff. His thoughts remained frozen for a long time until he was able to automatically ignore this and continue to think.
So now the person in front of him is Xie Xi but he is delirious, not realizing that he has fallen into an illusion spell.
If he and Xie Xi were lost in the illusion, the consequences would be disastrous.
But how can he break through this illusion?
Chu Yu pulled together his torn robes then turned to look at Xie Xi who was leaning against a bedpost, smiling slightly.
… The way to break through the spell is probably to make Xie Xi understand that he is caught in an illusion and that all of this is false.
That’s a big problem. Those who are caught up in an illusion cannot think clearly. Making Xie Xi realize that what was in front of him now was just a mirage…
Chu Yu’s face was expressionless as he said: “…Little brother.”7
Xie Xi’s face was full of smiles: “Hmm?”
“Take your hands off my back. Thank you.”
Xie Xi’s hand were caressing Chu Yu’s upper back. When he heard these words, he raised his eyebrows then pulled Chu Yu into his arms. Xie Xi lowered his head and kissed Chu Yu’s clavicle: “Yu-er, we’ve already finished the wedding ceremony,8 it’s only right and proper that we consummate the marriage. Why are you so shy?”
**** it! I, your father, am a straight man!
The expression on Chu Yu’s face became twisted but he took a deep breath and forced himself to continue to think calmly. It looks like Xie Xi won’t snap out of it anytime soon. This means that the most important thing is… to prevent being topped by the protagonist!
“Xie Xi …” Chu Yu controlled his twitching face and squeezed out a smile: “I … don’t feel well tonight.”
The words that he blurted out turned out to be quite useful. When he heard that Chu Yu was feeling unwell, the expression on Xie Xi’s face changed. He hurriedly let go of Chu Yu then meticulously checked his body from head to toe: “Where? Where does it hurt?”
Chu Yu had no way of stopping Xie Xi from tickling him. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He pushed Xie Xi away, saying: “I’m just tired. I want to sleep.”
Xie Xi was still frowning. He checked again and found that there really was no problem. Then he kissed the space between Chu Yu’s eyebrows, took off his outer robe. He lay down on the bed with Chu Yu, lightly stroking Chu Yu’s long hair that had fanned out. His voice was soft as he said: “Yu-er, I am very happy today.”
His actions were like that of a person touching a hard-won treasure. His movements were incredibly gentle as though fearing that if he used too much force his treasure would be broken.
…I’m very unhappy.
Breathing in the faint pine scent coming from the man’s body beside him, Chu Yu was quiet for a long time, confused: “It’s good that you are happy.”
What a joke, if this illusion really does show Xie Xi’s innermost desire, then … a great harem master has turned bent.
I feel awful. I want to cry.9
Chu Yu silently stretched out his hand to cover his chrysanthemum.10 The illusion must have been opened the wrong way! How the **** can a harem master bend?! Not too long ago, Xie Xi was very eager to read the “Flirting with Girls” manual!
Speaking of that “Flirting with Girls” manual, cold sweat broke out when Chu Yu remembered how Xie Xi acted after reading it. It seems…
Xie Xi read the manual then he was all over Chu Yu.
But he always thought that Xie Xi was just experimenting so he didn’t pay any attention to it.
Chu Yu feelings were complex. He spent the night lying in Xie Xi’s arms trembling with fear, totally confused, only falling asleep when the night sky was already lightening. When he woke up the sun was already high up in the sky. The space beside him was empty.
Chu Yu immediately checked his clothes to confirm that his chrysanthemum had not fallen. He breathed a sigh of relief, pulled out some robes from his interspatial ring, and changed into them before stepping out of the chamber.
Xie Xi was practicing his sword outside.
Lu Qingan was perennially absent from the peak, therefore Chu Yu took over his role as the Shizun. All of the disciples in the peak were taught by Chu Yu. Xie Xi is no exception though it could be said that he took additional care in instructing him. Chu Yu was used to seeing a smaller version of the younger Xie Xi training his sword skills who, although he had very good form, was still a little lacking. Now that Xie Xi had grown up, Xie Xi’s sleeves swung gracefully as he practiced his sword forms and footwork. He was the very vision of a graceful Sword Immortal.11
Chu Yu was a little baffled.
Xie Xi heard footsteps and immediately sheathed his sword, saying with a smile: “You’re up? Do you still feel unwell?”
Chu Yu coughed dryly, trying to think of a good way to word things. He said solemnly: “Shidi, you should wake up.”
Xie Xi’s stopped walking towards Chu Yu and his hands unconsciously clenched under his sleeves, but there was still a slight smile on his face: “Yu-er, what are you saying?”
“It’s all fake, Xie Xi.” The expression on Chu Yu’s face was sorrowful: “We are in the Mausoleum Ruins right now. We fell into one of the illusions. It’s dangerous so you must immediately wake up… uh.”
Xie Xi took a few more steps forwards then bent down to kiss Chu Yu.
He blocked Chu Yu’s lips, holding him by the back of his head. His smile was cool, but his lips were hot as fire and he seemed to want to swallow up Chu Yu.
Chu Yu was kissed until his head spun. His expression thunderous, he lifted his hand to slap the other person: “Xie Xi! Do you still remember clearly who I am?!”
The white jade-like face had a red handprint on it. Xie Xi reached out and touched it but didn’t pay attention to it: “You are Chu Yu.”
Chu Yu was furious. With great difficulty, he restrained his anger and redoubled his efforts: “Xie Xi, if you don’t wake up, you will be lost in the illusion …”
“Yu-er, I have so much to say to you.” Smiling, Xie Xi interrupted Chu Yu. He pulled Chu Yu by the hand and they sat down at the stone table in the courtyard.
Chu Yu frowned, tamping down his restlessness and anger. Xie Xi held his hands but he didn’t look at Chu Yu. His eyes were looking at something in the distance, lost in thought for a long time. Then he smiled and said: “My father and mother have been missing for a long time. Before they left, they told me to stay put and wait for them. They said they would bring back some interesting toys for me. They never came back. I waited for seven days, sleepy and hungry. Shizun found me when I was dying. Shixiong, my parents don’t want me.”
He gripped Chu Yu’s hand tightly. He sighed and said: “Actually, the first time I arrived at the sect I was really scared … Shixiong hit me and scolded me. I didn’t understand why and hated Shixiong, but then Shixiong changed…”
Xie Xi’s eyes slowly drifted to Chu Yu’s face. Beaming, he looked into the other person’s eyes deeply: “Shixiong, from the time we fought at the cliff, you changed and was no longer the old Chu Yu … I don’t know if you are so good to me because wanted to make up for your earlier treatment of me, but you aren’t the same … I wanted to respect and fear you but I can’t do it.”
He taught Xie Xi how to cultivate. He taught Xie Xi sword skills. He taught Xie Xi everything. The two of them were obviously close but despite that he still appeared aloof and remote.
He wanted to blaspheme the aloof and remote Da Shixiong.
Chu Yu clearly saw the * in the Xie Xi eyes.12
Speechless for a moment, Chu Yu recalled with horror the way he had ignorantly and fearlessly slept with Xie Xi for three years. Forcing out a smile, he said: “Shidi, that’s just a misconception. Only a few people care about you so when we became close you mistook gratitude for something else.”
I hope so.
If the protagonist stares at his chrysanthemum, then instead of hugging the thighs he will have to hold the third leg…
“Yes, only a few people care about me, so I don’t want to lose their concern for me.” Xie Xi rubbed his forehead and sighed. “Sometimes, the better you treat me, the more I fear you will disappear. Shixiong, I’m afraid you might leave.”
The conversation failed.
Pain gripped Chu Yu’s heart and he couldn’t continue.
- I’m back from my vacation.
- This chapter is super long so I split it. I kinda rushed out this release since it had been some time since the last chapter. Sorry for the wait.
- Chu Yu referred to himself in third person.
- 肝胆俱裂 – lit. “liver and gallbladder seemed torn from within” meaning “terror-stricken”
- 简直要吓哭 – lit. scared until he was crying
- Meaning they shouldn’t really be doing “wedding night” stuff.
- 眸中潋滟微光 – eyes like water full of billows, glimmering.
- 无声无息死去 – die in silence, without speaking
- 兄弟 – younger brother
- 我们已经拜过天地了 – lit. we already “paid our respects to heaven and earth” meaning the Chinese wedding ceremony where the bride and groom perform formal bows
- 蓝瘦，香菇 – lit. thin blue mushroom. Internet slang for “I feel awful and I want to cry.
- In this case, “chrysanthemum” is slang for *cough* his “back door.”
- Non-literally translated this part.
- The * was in the original. I think it means “lust.”