Chapter 4 – When a Fanfic Protagonist Transmigrated into the Original Novel
Zhangsun Zijun is not an idiot. In the original novel he was an extremely intelligent person, but in the distorted fanfic world, his IQ was artificially lowered, especially when it came to Yi Xichen and other men. So at this moment, he had a slight feeling of wrongness but his IQ just wouldn’t go online.
“The Sword Assembly?” Zhangsun Zijun’s reaction was somewhat delayed as his brain took a lot of time to understand the gist of Lu Ziyao and Yi Xichen’s conversation. “Ten days from now?”
If he’s not mistaken, the Sword Assembly is held every five years and it hasn’t been five years since the last one. How could it be held at this time?
Lu Ziyao patted the goosebumps on his arm and said, “Shidi, did you forget?”
Yi Xichen also looked at him suspiciously: “Zijun, what happened to you today? You and I have been practicing our sword skills every day for Sword Assembly. You…”
Zhangsun Zijun frowned. Lu Ziyao’s and Yi Xichen’s tone were identical. Is it possible that the two of them were playing a trick on him together? Or did he remember it wrong? He asked: “What year, month, and day is it today?”
Lu Ziyao replied: “The year of Bingchen, the month of Wuxu, and Gengwu.”1
Zhangsun Zijun felt his teeth were aching: “Bingchen? It’s obviously Jiazi.”
“Huh? Jiazi?” Lu Ziyao and Yi Xichen looked at each other.
About the year of Bingchen and Jiazi, the difference between them was eight years. Counting backwards this way should be fine since if it was 52 years, the joke would be a bit much. 2
Zhangsun Zijun was also puzzled. Every time it was Jiazi, the Cloud City portal would open. He’d just gone there with Yi Xichen and returned with a pile of magic weapons (most of them were X toys, or weapons that could be used as X toys). This memory was very clear so he shouldn’t have remembered it wrongly.
Yi Xichen now fully recognized the seriousness of the problem. Today’s Zhangsun Zijun was abnormal and this abnormality was not just a joke. If it was just the two of them, it wouldn’t be impossible for Zhangsun Zijun to joke with him in such a way but it was absolutely impossible for him to joke around like this when a third party appeared.
Yi Xichen said: “Zijun, did your head get stuck on the door when you went out this morning?”
Zhangsun Zijun: “…”
Lu Ziyao looked at them in astonishment, not knowing what had happened.
Yi Xichen didn’t know what to say, so he went closer to Lu Ziyao and whispered to him in a soft voice.
Zhangsun Zijun watched this intimacy between them. They were as close as a M/M couple engaged in an illicit love affair3… and the jar of vinegar in his heart burst from insane jealousy.4 As the third most charismatic person besides the two protagonists, Lu Ziyao was a person who liked to pick flowers.5 Therefore in Zhangsun Zijun’s distorted mind, Lu Ziyao was a second male lead (gong) who had no reason to spend time with Yi Xichen except for wanting to pick his chrysanthemum.
Zhangsun Zijun couldn’t help but asked resentfully: “Are you two playing around?”
Lu Ziyao was surprised and said, “Playing around? Zhangsun Shidi, why did you say that?”
His face impassive, Zhangsun Zijun said, “Are you guys cheating on me?”
“Huh?” Lu Ziyao’s mouth fell open in shock. He asked cautiously, “What do you mean cheating on you?”
“He must have hit his head!” Yi Xichen gave Zhangsun Zijun a horrified look and shook his head in despair. “Otherwise why would you think that I … with you … that …”
Yi Xichen couldn’t stop himself from clenching his gluteus maximus because he felt a dull pain near there. He now understood why this morning Zijun asked him if his ass was hurting.
Zhangsun Zijun made a hissing sound as he exhaled. His teeth ached even more. What’s this situation? In his bed last night, Yi Xichen cried out until he was hoarse but today he refused to recognize their relationship. You know, if one converted the distance he moved in Yi Xichen into the length of a tea-cup, the number of tea-cups would be enough to circle the entire world three times!
Suddenly, a divine halo lit up Zhangsun Zijun’s brain and he ranted: “Yi Xichen! Did you intentionally miscarry our child? For the sake of your adulterous affair with Lu Ziyao?!”
“What!” The innocent Lu Ziyao who was dragged into the war, couldn’t help but look at Yi Xichen’s stomach and feel that his brain could not keep up with the this new development. “Child? What child?”
Yi Xichen almost fell over and somersaulted. Where is this pregnant mother?!!
A moment later, Yi Xichen drew his sword and assumed a defensive posture against Zhangsun Zijun: “Are you really Zhangsun Zijun? Aren’t you a demonic clone?!”
Zhangsun Zijun was surprised. Yes, it makes sense. The Yi Xichen and Lu Ziyao in front of him are not normal. The way they speak is too strange. A donkey’s lips do not match a horse’s mouth.6 Could it be that they are demon doppelgängers? Zhangsun Zijun immediately assumed a defensive posture: “Yi Xichen, when did you and I met each other for the first time?”
“When you first to Medicine Hall from the Sword Refining Hall you were cold and arrogant. I took the initiative to talk to you. What’s the first sentence I said to you? Do you remember?!”
“‘Hey, you’re really good-looking. Let’s be friends.’ How did I answer?”
“‘F**k.’ Why did you become my friend?”
“You pestered me for a whole month, saying that I’m the best looking youngster in the Medicine Hall. I was incessantly nagged by you but all I wanted was some peace and quiet.”
Yi Xichen touched his nose: “Oh, is that why? I thought it was because you thought I was handsome and interesting.”
The onlooker Lu Ziyao: “…”
Their past stories both fit together. Although demonic magic can imitate a person’s appearance and voice, it can’t break into a person’s soul sea and take their memories. This memory is something that is known only to Yi Xichen and Zhangsun Zijun.
—— Reminder to the OOC fanfic’s author and fans: the original work should be respected.
Both Yi Xichen and Zhangsun Zijun relaxed and stopped assuming a defensive posture but they were still confused.
Lu Ziyao, the clear-minded spectator, pulled Yi Xichen aside and whispered: “Yi Shidi, Zhangsun Shidi’s symptoms seem like a magical attack. What did he do in the last two days? What unusual things happened? Did he consume any exotic herbs?”
The expression on Yi Xichen’s face change and he shouted: “Oh no! Now that you mention it, I know what happened.”
He shook his head in embarrassment. “Last night I was refining medicine but I was missing an ingredient, the Tianhe grass. I took Zijun with me to the miasma forest under the mountain.”
The expression on Lu Ziyao’s face changed. He scolded: “You are too lawless! How could you dare to go to that place?! It’s full of poisonous miasma! Zhangsun Shidi must have inhaled too much of it, causing great mental changes! His mind is addled!”
Yi Xichen regretted endlessly in his heart. Last night, in order to break into the miasma forest, he had stolen two of the Medicine Hall Elder Yao Budu’s pills. Relying on those pills, he and Zhangsun Zijun successfully obtained the Tianhe grass. The mucus he used in the trick earlier was made using that Tianhe grass. He didn’t feel suffer any discomfort, but Zijun was dragged down by him.
Since that was the case, he must take responsibility for Zhangsun Zijun. Zijun was harmed because of him. They are best friends so he must find a way to cure Zijun!
Yi Xichen exclaimed: “Lu Shixiong, first please help me to take care of Zijun. I’m going to refine an Awaken Mind Pill!”
He turned around and ran off until there wasn’t even his shadow left, leaving the two love rivals Zhangsun Zijun and Lu Ziyao alone together. The two of them gaze at each other in speechless dismay.
“Aha, ha, ha.” Lu Ziyao didn’t know how to deal with this situation. He laughed twice and said good-naturedly: “Are you tired of sword practice? Why don’t I stay with Shidi while he takes a break in his room …”
After Yi Xichen left, Zhangsun Zijun’s emotional problems went offline and his IQ points went up. The situation was extremely strange but poor Zhangsun Zijun still can’t understand what happened. The only thing he knew was that Yi Xichen and Lu Ziyao seemed to have become different people. Their personalities are quite different from what he knew.
Zhangsun Zijun left without saying a word. Lu Ziyao wasn’t sure if he was alright so he quickly followed behind him.
Every time Zhangsun Zijun met a disciple, he asked them what year it is now. Everyone answered “Bingchen” in a serious tone of voice. When he asked when the Sword Assembly would be held, they all said ten days. It was exactly the same as what Yi Xichen and Lu Ziyao had said.
All of the disciples in the sect were in the joke and were messing with him? But there was no reason for it. What had he done to provoke everyone’s anger? He just stirred up a little trouble. Those who dared to covet Yi Xichen’s chrysanthemum were often left half dead and vomiting blood. Does this Heavenly Sword Sect have many people who hunger for Yi Xichen’s chrysanthemum? … Wait a minute, don’t the overwhelming majority of the male characters look at Yi Xichen’s chrysanthemum like a tiger watching its prey? In other words, almost all of the people in sect were beaten up by him…
Zhangsun Zijun had a small mental breakdown. Why is it that everyone took such a terrible thing for granted?! Why has he never questioned these things before?!
Lu Ziyao followed behind Zhangsun Zijun and said carefully: “You see, this year is really Bingchen. We haven’t lied to you. Zhangsun Shidi, you may have been affected by something last night. It doesn’t matter. Let’s have Medicine Hall’s Elder examine you…”
Zhangsun Zijun suddenly stopped and stared at a sapling near the river. A few years ago he had planted it with Yi Xichen. In his memory, the peach tree has blossomed but today it was only small sapling.
People can deceive other people but things will not.
All of a sudden, Zhangsun Zijun dashed forward.
Lu Ziyao didn’t dare to let him run about wildly and pursued, staying close behind him: “Zhangsun Shidi, don’t run. I’ll go with you to the Medicine Hall elder first!”
After passing through the peach forest, Zhangsun Zijun made a turn at the sword training area. Behind it was the Shengnong Temple. The entrance to the temple had a calendar that was run by an ancient divine mechanism. No one can make changes to it.
The calendar clearly read: Bingchen, Wuxu, Gengwu.
Zhangsun Zijun stepped back. He felt that his mind was muddled.
Why is this reality different from what he knew? Were the past eight years just a dream like “The Dream of the Yellow Millet”? Or did he have some kind of mental disorder? Did someone perhaps use a magic weapon to make him stray into the door of time? He vaguely remembered that last night when he fell asleep he saw a lightning bolt through his dark window. He was woken up by a dazzling light. At that time he thought it was someone’s heavenly lightning tribulation. Is it possible that the heavenly lighting had done something strange?
Just then, a harsh voice rang behind them.
“Ah, who is this? Lu Shixiong, why are you always with that trash? That’s bad luck.”
Zhangsun Zijun heard this and snorted. He slowly turned around. One of the most annoying people in the entire world appeared – Xiao Kui.
- The Dream of the Yellow Millet – Lü Dongbin, who later became a Daoist Immortal, once slept in a hotel while his yellow millet was cooking. He dreamed that he was awarded a high position in the government and soon rose through the ranks to eventually become the prime minister. However, his enemies framed him for some crimes and he lost his position. His wife betrayed him, his children were all killed by bandits, and he lost his wealth. He woke up as he was dying in his dream and found out that although eighteen years had passed in his dream the whole dream actually happened in the time it took his millet to cook. Source.
- See, this is why the fujoshis shipped them. Yi Xichen’s first words to Zijun were: “You’re good-looking, let’s be friends.” LOL! What a flirtatious shou! What did you think of this chapter?
- Still no editor in sight so please let me know if there are any errors. Thanks for reading.
- Ancient calendar type dates.
- The ancient calendar was on a 60-year cycle. So the difference would be either 52 or 8 years.
- 狗男女 – the characters read like dog male female but it means “a cheating couple.” Zijun called the two 狗男男 – the same thing except the female was changed to male. So it’s wordplay meaning two men have an affair.
- Eating vinegar means jealousy. A jar of vinegar means a jealous person.
- I’m dying, the raw said Ziyao “is exactly a building block that’s used to construct a socialist society.” This is a meme.“Building socialism” means *cough* censored activities.
- 驴唇不对马嘴 – “a donkey’s lips do not match a horse’s mouth” meaning It’s incongruous or weird.