Translator’s Introduction: Because of the strict censorship laws in China, this type of fiction uses a lot of euphemisms/coded words.
Chrysanthemum – the lower orifice, “backdoor”
Cucumber, little brother, etc. – d*ck
Shou (uke) – the “bottom” in the relationship, also called 0
Gong (seme) – the “top” in the relationship
Loyal dog shou – this is a type of character in BL fiction. A 100% loyal, honest, and devoted shou, he will endure anything and everything for his loved one. Sometimes, it borders on being masochistic
Scum gong – one of the most popular types of gong characters. Basically, the “bad boy” type, their actions often border on the abusive.
Eat tofu – to take advantage of another person
Chapter One: That loyal dog shou
Reality is very cruel. Tao Wen, who had gloriously ascended to the rank of magician, finally found a person who was like him. He had set the stage for their earth-shaking love affair, planning to lose his virginity. After shyly asking the other person to take off his clothes and roll in the sheets with him, he suddenly realized that … they were both 0.
D***n! If he had known, he wouldn’t have cheerfully paid for the room himself!
How come in novels, there were always more cucumbers than chrysanthemums? Many people were always scrambling to be the gong.
But in reality, chrysanthemums are more numerous than cucumbers. Finding a good gong wasn’t easy.
Tao Wen sadly said goodbye to the person he had planned to roll in the sheets with who likewise looked very sad, too. They agreed that in the future they would become best buds. Then Tao Wen dejectedly went online and started looking for novels.
The world of novels was always wonderful. After Tao Wen’s shou setback in the real world, he liked to find a warm, fluffy novel with no tragedy tag to comfort and soothe his wounded soul. His favorite type of character was definitely the loyal dog shou.
Browsing novels, Tao Wen found a novel with the “loyal dog shou” tag. In the absence of a gong, he can make do with a shou. Tao Wen started reading it enthusiastically.
The author’s writing was very good but she was definitely the type who likes to make readers cry.1 Tao Wen read it sorrowfully. If it weren’t for the loyal dog shou, who he liked very much, he wouldn’t have been able to stand it. But since he loved the loyal dog shou character so much, he persevered. From the perspective of an omniscient reader, he felt that the scum gong was really too bad. He desperately wanted to soothe his heart but now he felt like it was going to be broken.
However, even if there were some misunderstandings and drama in the middle of the novel, as long as the outcome was a happy ending, Tao Wen will be satisfied. However, Tao Wen didn’t expect that just when the scum gong finally realized that he loved the shou, his favorite loyal dog shou died! He really died!
It was a bad ending! His beloved loyal dog shou was abused by the scum gong. After he died, the scum gong repented but was killed by his older brother, the emperor.
This ****ing ending! Tao Wen looked at the computer screen and wanted to become a ghost to haunt the author! Is there anything more frustrating than this? In order to save that scum gong, the shou was injured but remained loyal. Just because of a few words spoken by other people the scum gong misunderstood and felt betrayed. It’s too much!
Of course, in the end, the scum gong found out the truth. Tao Wen thought that things wouldn’t be so difficult but the shou died… The author clearly wrote this to get revenge on society!
Well, if he had a secret guard who was so loyal and devoted to him, he certainly wouldn’t be like the prince in the novel! Nor would he be so brainless as to offend his immediate superior and thus make the emperor look at him with displeasure in his eyes, resulting in harm to his secret guard and himself.
He… would surely get naked and seduce his secret guard! Ah no, if the guard was seduced, then instead of being stabbed, Tao Wen would have to do the stabbing …
When he thought of this scenario, Tao Wen was extremely depressed again because he is a shou. He was very happy when he finally found someone to take his virginity, only to find out that the other person was also a shou. What a tragedy!
With a heavy heart, Tao Wen lay down on his bed. Since it was cold, he plugged in the electric blanket…
In the end, Tao Wen had no desire to find out if he was electrocuted or burned. All he knew was that he died in the only thing his parents had left for him, in the small 50-square-foot house.
- 后妈 – literally “stepmother” but it’s a slang for writers who like to write very tragic stories that make readers cry