Chapter 5 – I Can’t Write Any ‘Below the Neck’ Love Scenes

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Chapter 5

It was late into the night, Ye Ming and Duan Mu Ling sat face-to-face.

They had some serious problems to discuss.

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Firstly, why did Duan Mu Ling suddenly go into heat, and more importantly, why the hell was Ye Ming the target of his desires.

Secondly, just what induced that horrible noise that suddenly came out of Ye Ming’s mouth.

Being the defendant against the accusation of the first question, Duan Mu Ling shamelessly declared, “There is no particular reason. I do it because I want to.”

Given the defendant’s terrible’s attitude, Duan Mu Ling’s argument was instantly rejected by the opposing party.

Ye Ming was trying his best to rein in his anger.

Your mother, do you think you can do whatever the hell you please?

Do you think that just because you want to have your way with I, your father, I’ll just let you do it?

After I spent so much time developing you is this how you pay me?

Do you think the chastity that I have preserved for twenty-six years is something for you to simply take advantage of?

Duan My Ling was also trying his hardest to control himself.

Being unsuccessful in his attempt to jump Ye Ming, Duan Mu Ling sulked.

The taste of their previous heated encounter still lingered in his mouth, making him yearn for more.

“Tell me! Are you going to repeat such a mistake again?” Ye Ming scolded furiously.

“Weren’t you enjoying yourself just now as well?” Duan Mu Ling retorted back.

Ye Ming’s cheeks burned.

As much as he would like to deny, he did moan, not to mention his arms did indeed subconsciously wrap themselves around the other person’s body.

Ye Ming was indignant, “Don’t change the subject! Answer me, are you going to do such a thing in the future again?”

“Yes!” Duan Mu Ling resolutely answered.

And I’m going to do you till you can’t get up! Duan Mu Ling added in his heart.

With the defendant stubbornly resolute in his desire to □□ him, Ye Ming’s face turned ashen.

Both of them were now stuck in a stalemate.

Ye Ming took a deep breath.

This wild child still needs time to be guided onto the right path.

He was already crying in his heart.

Ever since meeting Duan Mu Ling, he had been trying his best to make it up to the other person, intending to guide him properly.

Who knew that his good intentions instead guided Duan Mu Ling into becoming bent?

Duan Mu Ling was more concerned over the second question.

Ye Ming was clearly enjoying it, so why is it when he made a sound, it was one with such a strange pitch?

It definitely did not sound like something a normal human would make.

If this went on for too many times, he really would deflate.

“You…do you want to see a doctor?” Duan Mu Ling asked hesitantly.

Then again, that could be just how the other person □□ , so him asking such a question could actually hurt the other person’s self-esteem.

If Ye Ming continues making such sounds, he’ll have to think of a way to plug up his mouth.

A sudden image formed in Duan Mu Ling’s mind; Ye Ming’s naked body beneath his, gagged and whimpering softly as he explored the person’s body.

Dun Mu Ling’s abdomen tightened.

Hmmm, maybe there might not be a need for a doctor, after all, I think I’ll….just gag him.

He began fantasizing about what to gag Ye Ming with.

Ye Ming gawked at Duan Mu Ling.

For him to openly admit to such obscenities, Duan Mu Ling truly wasn’t a normal person.

He threw the pillow at Duan Mu Ling’s head.

“You…should give yourself over to me.” Duan Mu Ling suddenly opened his mouth to speak after silently pondering for a while.

Ye Ming wanted to vomit blood.

Hand myself to you? Hand myself to you?!?!

“You…you don’t need to deliberate too much. After all, your physical strength is nowhere near mine and you don’t have any skills in cultivation. Not to mention you don’t even have a family, how are you going to survive in this world? If you give yourself to me, I’ll promise to take proper care of you.” Duan Mu Ling spoke calmly, with a hint of urging at Ye Ming.

He believed that Ye Ming following him would be the most practical choice.


Duan Mu Ling □□ as he grasped Ye Ming’s hands.

“Just submit yourself to me, your lord. I’ll make sure to take good care of you.”

Beads of tears rolled down the delicate face of Ye Ming’s as he struggled, “No…no, I don’t want to! You…you tyrant….waa…”

Ye Ming was pushed onto the floor.


Of course the above was only Ye Ming’s horrific imagination.

Ye Ming spat out a mouthful of blood.

Just where did he learn such vulgar, cliche romantic lines?

I, your father…really cannot spit out such embarrassing lines!

After pondering in silence for a short while, Ye Ming said, “Well, in any case, we’ll be sleeping separately from now on, so I’ll be going back to my room first.”

I, your father, needs to think things through.

Tonight’s shocking development is really too much for his mind to comprehend.

For the first time, Ye Ming cursed his lackluster ingenuity.

Duan Mu Ling’s face darkened.

Ye Ming stood to leave.

As though out of reflex, Duan Mu Ling quickly latched onto Ye Ming, refusing to let him go.

He was struck by a sudden fear of the person in front of him abandoning him.

Such a desolate and distraught feeling is truly terrifying.

He started regretting acting so rashly towards Ye Ming.

He was terrified, but he could not express it either.

However, asking him to relent in his pursuit of Ye Ming was nearly impossible either.

Hence, he could only obstinately trap Ye Ming in his embrace.

Through his twenty-five years of life, Ye Ming was the only person he ever desired.


The next morning, Ye Ming opened his eyes.

He was greeted by sight of Duan Mu Ling’s handsome face.

He let out a long sigh.

Last night, Duan Mu Ling had stubbornly refused to let him go, his hold tightening as Ye Ming tried to break free.

Ye Ming could clearly sense the fear and distress emanating from the other person.
In a moment of weakness, his heart ached for the person clinging onto him.

Duan Mu Ling’s rueful demeanor finally won Ye Ming over and he relented to stay for the night.

If Ye Ming had to be fair, Duan Mu Ling was actually an extremely good-looking person.

His long, delicate lashes cast a light shadow below his eyes, while his sharp nose bridge gave him quite a characteristic look.

Ye Ming was quite tempted to reach out and stroke his face but was stopped as the eyelashes of the other person fluttered.

Ye Ming quickly shut his eyes again.

When Duan Mu Ling woke, the first person he saw was Ye Ming.

This made him extremely elated and satisfied.

Such a scene made him fantasize about how wonderful it would be to wake up every morning to his treasured person in front of him.

Duan Mu Ling slowly inched his face closer to Ye Ming, feeling the other’s breath on his cheek as he began licking Ye Ming’s lips.

Ye Ming squeezed his eyes shut.

This jerk is at it again!!!!

Should I give him a good slap?

Ye Ming was internally struggling.

He really didn’t want to start another fight first thing in the morning, so he opted to continue pretending to sleep.

The tongue brushing his lips slowly pried them open. With a swift move, the other person grabbed his chin and forced his mouth open, allowing the tongue free access to his own mouth.

Ye Ming’s eyes jolted open as the back of his head was pressed down.

He struggled fiercely, but his mouth was eventually invaded by the other’s tongue. The tongue wreaked havoc on him as it twirled about and intertwined with his own before it was lightly sucked on.

The intensity of such an action made Ye Ming’s head spin once again.

Duan Mu Ling let out a contented sigh in his heart.

Such a flavour….truly did not disappoint.

Galvanized by his previous actions, Duan Mu Ling began tearing at Ye Ming’s clothes.

Ye Ming whimpered in what could only be interpreted as ecstasy.

Duan Mu Ling began eagerly caressing Ye Ming’s body without restraint.

Afterward, well, there was no afterward.

After all, Ye Ming and Duan Mu Ling’s bodies were frozen in place.

Neither of them could move an inch.

The two of them stared blankly at each other.

They could speak but no other movement was possible.

Duan Mu Ling’s roaming hand paused at Ye Ming’s abdomen while Ye Ming’s arms remained hooked around Duan Mu Ling’s neck.

One will never know unless their movements were stopped, but it was clear that Ye Ming was so eager.

Duan Mu Ling snickered evilly at this evidence.

With both their lips still tightly pressed together, Duan Mu Ling murmured, “You are really eager to kiss me, aren’t you?”

Some cheeky bastard just resolutely reminded Ye Ming of his bold neck-hooking actions.
Ye Ming blushed furiously.

He scolded himself internally because clearly, he was his own biggest enemy!

That said, what worried him most though, was why was this happening to him?
This damned Duan Mu Ling, was this even surprising?

On top of that, he was still anxious, whether this freeze can be unlocked?
Furthermore, he does not know when Xi Tian Wang will appear T.T

That damned Duan Mu Ling was definitely behaving strangely.

Even in this kind of situation, where he and Ye Ming were tightly affixed to each other, unable to separate, also made him superbly happy, like a cat that got the cream.

Ye Ming tightened his hold on his neck, so not to make him be too smug about it.
“If I knew you enjoyed it that much, I would gladly satisfy you.”

Ye Ming shut his eyes.

This damned person in front of him was truly so shameless, it was unbearable!

He simply closed his eyes and tried raising his spirits by following the common saying, out of sight, out of mind.

After some time had passed, to the point that Duan Mu Ling grew impatient, Ye Ming finally felt his body gradually relax.

Both tentatively moved their paralyzed bodies.

F***, they are free! Finally! How long were they stuck in that state?

Duan Mu Ling stepped out to look at the color of the sky and it seemed only an hour had passed.

No one knows what the hell was going on here.


During breakfast, the pair dined together but Ye Ming ate in a trance.
The housekeeper stood beside Duan Mu Ling, reporting on household affairs.

“Don’t think too much about it,” Duan Mu Ling said while gently stroking Ye Ming’s face.
Ye Ming, in a daze, ignored him and absent-mindedly stuffed a chili pepper into his mouth. He immediately spat it out; it was so spicy that he could barely breathe.

The housekeeper’s stoic face twitched slightly.

He has served at Duan Household for so many years and he has never seen Duan Mu Ling treat somebody so well before.

Not to mention, that person was rather……. “outstanding.”

But he is also Duan Mu Ling’s esteemed guest, and so he will not neglect his duties.

Ye Ming observed the housekeeper. Suddenly, he asked lightly, “Housekeeper Qi, are you still able to make love to your wife now?”
The housekeeper’s old face flushed crimson.
He didn’t expect this esteemed guest to care so much about his vigor in bed affairs.

Even Duan Mu Ling felt that Ye Ming was heartless.
The housekeeper was already in his 50s-60s, so the real question here was whether the poor guy had the stamina to last in bed.

In such an aspect, men are extremely prideful about it.
To let others question about his male vigor, this is truly a heaven-shaking disgrace!
Although Ye Ming was extremely curious, he didn’t need to be so straightforward about it.

The housekeeper replied embarrassedly, “This humble servant, while lately, bed matters have lessened, but my wife and my three concubines are still regularly satisfied.”
Even if it is impossible, one must say it is possible!

Ye Ming impatiently interjected, “I didn’t ask you about that. When do it bed, are you able to continue in the act?”

The housekeeper, already feeling resentful, choked and said, “Yes, when this humble servant is able to perform, I am able to satisfy my wife and concubines.” He put emphasis on the words “able to perform.”

You dare doubt me?
The housekeeper suppressed his impulse to bellow in rage. This one can make a woman come eight times!

“Did you experience anything such like the body being unable to move or your concubine making weird noises?” Ye Ming pressed.
Duan Mu Ling finally understood why Ye Ming was asking these questions
He turned to the Housekeeper, giving him the ‘I am waiting for you to answer’ look.

The Housekeeper felt that these two people must have smoked something crazy early this morning.

Or maybe they developed an evil interest in messing with this old thing.

He steadied his mind and replied, “This humble person’s body is extremely flexible. As for concubines and wife making weird sounds, that is only natural. Furthermore, they might even let out some ecstatic screams.”

“They never made beep sounds?”

“Never.”

Never, never, never!
The Housekeeper scolded in his heart, “This demented person, when will you cease asking about these kinds of things!”

Ye Ming finally nodded his head.
Duan Mu Ling gave a dismissive wave. The housekeeper hurriedly paid his respects and fled the room.


Reika’s Notes:

  • This chapter is by skydreamgirl and natchmusic of BC Novels.
  • The weird paragraph style is what the original uses.
  • ….Would gagging him work? Nope, they would just get frozen, lol!
  • Please let me know if there are any errors.
  • Thanks for reading.

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10 thoughts on “Chapter 5 – I Can’t Write Any ‘Below the Neck’ Love Scenes”

  1. I’m so glad I started to read this novel, I really love the humor in this one! Thank you for pick this novel up! Good job as always with translating! Thank you UwU

  2. muggelschmuggel

    Hahaha.. their badtime is really… erm.. fulfilling lololol
    Wish good luck in solving this problems xD
    (Censorship is our all enemy D:)

    Thx for this funny update \(≧▽≦)/

  3. Thank you for the chapter! I really look forward to this series, with its cute couple. (But oh no, the omnipresent censorship and its wily ways to prevent action. It is too adaptive! First beeping, then freezing!!)

    And wow, Housekeeper Qi is quite the man at his age…! Eight times a night…

    Would like to know if edits are accepted for this story? I noticed the ones below, so was wondering about them:

    did indeed subconsciously wrapped themselves > wrap themselves?

    Ye Ming opened his eyes > missing full stop?

    licking Ye Ming lips. > Ye Ming’s?

    like a cat with whipped cream. > like a cat that got the cream?

    would gladly satisfy you” > missing full stop?

    satisfy my wife and concubines,”; > extra “;”?

  4. I’ll just leave and continue my laugh in reality life.
    Thanks for providing such an entertaining material first thing in the morning.
    This just made my day 😂😂😂

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