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“Why are there only five minutes left? System, your time is getting shorter and shorter. If it’s too short, you’re not a man, okay?” Pei Bufan quickly got onto the bed. His actions suddenly paused. “Can I ‘press’ him in my black cat form? Like sitting on his chest?”
System: [Do you know the meaning of the word ‘punishment’?] The difficulty has already been lowered. If it’s lowered again, can it still be called a punishment? You often sleep on people’s chests as a little black cat, don’t you?
Pei Bufan: …Alright then.
Pei Bufan spread his long legs and pressed down onto the unconscious man, sitting on his waist.
“Is that good enough?”
System: [You’re really heavy.]
“How am I heavy?”
[You’ve pressed the male lead awake!]
Pei Bufan: !!!
He instinctively wanted to turn his head, but suddenly remembering that his face couldn’t be exposed to the other party, he pressed down hard again, genuinely making the male lead let out a muffled groan, then turned and ran.
Ziche Duanyuan had been sleeping soundly when he suddenly felt his mind become hazy. He immediately realized he had been drugged. His first instinct was to hold his breath and keep his consciousness clear. However, he didn’t know what kind of miraculous drug it was. Although he maintained a clear consciousness, his body couldn’t move, and even opening his eyes was difficult. He could only vaguely hear someone speaking in his room. What they were saying, he couldn’t make out either.
Who could it be? An enemy? Were they going to kill him? To be careless for a moment and die so easily… Ziche Duanyuan’s mood was inevitably somewhat bleak, but he didn’t expect the person to actually climb onto the bed, then sit down on top of him. And then they didn’t move again.
Ziche Duanyuan: …
Did they take him for a cushion?!! What exactly did this person come here to do?!
Ziche Duanyuan struggled to open his eyes. Finally, he regained control of his body and managed to open his eyes a slit, but he only caught sight of a young man’s fleeing back. The next second, everything went dark again, and he couldn’t see anything.
[Friendly reminder, two minutes left! Out of kindness, I helped the host by blocking the male lead’s vision. Please cover your identity1 as soon as possible.]
‘Damn it!’ Pei Bufan had no time to worry about anything else. He hurriedly ran to the door, carefully nudged it open a crack to make a sound, then closed it, making the male lead think he had left. The moment two minutes passed, he immediately transformed into a black cat and lay on the floor, slowly crawling toward the bed.
He lifted his head and saw Ziche Duanyuan biting his lip tightly, seemingly suppressing an impending burst of anger.
Pei Bufan hesitated for a few seconds, then burrowed under the bed.
Hearing only the sound of the door, Ziche Duanyuan couldn’t carefully analyze whether the person had truly left or was playing another trick. He lay on the bed, waiting for the intoxicating incense’s effects to wear off.
He must find that boy! This is absolutely unbearable!! What the hell was that?!
The drug’s effects lasted for about an hour. Ziche Duanyuan endured for an hour. Once his body could move, he quickly sat up and looked around the room. But he saw no trace of anything.
Ziche Duanyuan sat at the table in a rage. When his hand pressed the edge of the table, he crushed it, splitting it.
Pei Bufan: Σ( ° △°|||)
He was practically scared to piss himself!
Hearing a whimper from under the bed amidst his anger, Ziche Duanyuan’s brow furrowed slightly. He bent down and looked under the bed, not even bothering with his long black hair that hung to the floor.
Under the bed, Pei Bufan was curled into a tiny ball, trembling and shaking, his big cat eyes filled with tears.
Seeing him so frightened and wronged, Ziche Duanyuan softened his voice. “Bufan, come out.”
Pei Bufan shook his head. The male lead is too scary!
Mistaking the cat for also being affected by the intoxicating incense and unable to move due to insufficient cultivation, Ziche Duanyuan knelt on one knee, reached a hand under the bed, and grabbed Pei Bufan by the tail, pulling him out.
Pei Bufan cried out with miserable meows of fright. The male lead is actually so rough! I shouldn’t have been discovered, right! Will I get beaten?
However, after Ziche Duanyuan caught Pei Bufan, he only stroked him gently and didn’t do anything else.
“Bufan, do you remember how that boy got in?” He had clearly set up a formation in the room. How did that boy get in? And now, the formation seemed perfectly intact.
Pei Bufan frantically shook his head.
Ziche Duanyuan narrowed his eyes. “You really don’t know?” His voice was low and menacing.
Pei Bufan’s little heart trembled. He turned his head and saw the shattered table, and his head shrank back.
It seems he knows… Pei Bufan was squatting under the bed the whole time, so he heard what happened before, and when I was like that? Ziche Duanyuan suddenly felt uneasy.
“Tell me the truth,” Ziche Duanyuan said slowly, placing the little black cat on the table.
Looking at the paper and brush placed before him, Pei Bufan’s eyes darted around. He curled his tail around the brush and wrote crookedly: Peach Blossom.
Ziche Duanyuan was confused. After thinking for a moment, he understood Pei Bufan’s meaning. Was it trying to say that the boy was his “peach blossom,”2 and hard to keep away? A “peach blossom” who would come to drug someone and use them as a cushion? He didn’t think it was a “peach blossom”; it felt more like a prank. Ziche Duanyuan didn’t like such pranks. Especially pranks where his safety couldn’t be guaranteed.
Ziche Duanyuan scooped up the cat. Just like last time, he pressed it onto his lap, grabbed its tail with one hand, and spanked its butt with the other. It was just like disciplining his own disobedient child! He had to hit him! This time, an unknown boy got in. Next time, who knows if a woman will get in! He was drugged and didn’t even make a sound! The more he thought about it, the angrier he got, and the harder Ziche Duanyuan spanked.
Pei Bufan, being pressed down and beaten, was practically crying his eyes out. This is the System’s fault, I’m absolutely not taking the blame for this. Pei Bufan immediately let out tragic howls.
But this time, the male lead not only didn’t stop but said fiercely, “The same trick won’t work on me!” Did he think I didn’t find out last time that he was faking his cries when I spanked him? Does he really think I’m stupid? It’s better if it hurts a little, so he’ll learn his lesson!
Pei Bufan: Why does the harder I cry, the harder he hits? I tagged the male lead as a beast, not an S!3
Then Ziche Duanyuan continued to spank him about ten more times before letting go.
Pei Bufan lay still as if dead, sprawled out.
“Alright, we’re returning to Sword Immortal Valley.” Ziche Duanyuan stood up and looked back at Pei Bufan, who was lying spreadeagled on the bed, his face showing a look of utter despair.4
He snorted, pinched Pei Bufan’s soft scruff, and picked him up.
Pei Bufan: Male lead, you’re getting worse and worse QAQ.
Downstairs, Ziche Duanyuan returned the room key to the counter and only uttered two words: “Check out.”
Lan Lin curved his lips into a smile. “Fellow Daoist has only stayed for a few days. Why the sudden rush to leave?”
“I have business,” Ziche Duanyuan replied, then asked, “Has a black-haired boy come by these past few days?”
Lan Lin shook his head. “Black-haired people are uncommon among demon cultivators and demonic cultivators, but they are abundant among Daoist cultivators and sword cultivators. May I ask what exactly the person you are looking for looks like?”
Ziche Duanyuan sighed. “Never mind.” He’ll meet him again someday, he thought, secretly gritting his teeth.
Lan Lin shrugged, propped his chin on his hand, and watched Ziche Duanyuan slowly step out of the inn. He curved his lips and mouthed to the pitiful little cat being carried away, “See you next time.”
Pei Bufan: QAQ
You saw this and didn’t even say a word of dissuasion?! It’s so uncomfortable being carried like this! And… so cold!
Even as a black cat, he was being ‘implicated,’ which showed that the male lead was truly furious this time.
Seeing the two gradually move away, Lan Lin stepped out of the inn and kicked the peach tree, which was still asleep.
“Get up! It’s time to work!”
The peach tree turned into a bewitching woman, bending down to rub her calves. “How can you be so rough with a woman!”
“Sorry, I only like men,” Lan Lin chuckled. “Follow them. Find out which sect that man belongs to, where he lives, and what his family background is.”
“That sounds exactly like a father whose daughter has been kidnapped, so tiresome,” Zhuo Hua complained, taking out her magic artifact, a shuttle-shaped piece of wood with pointed ends. She merged her form into the shuttle, burrowed into the ground, and disappeared.
“Remember to pay me well. This is hard work,” she said before leaving.
“I won’t forget,” Lan Lin replied grumpily, then turned and went back into the inn. Can he not make more money? Everyone is so hard to support!
********
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Reika’s Notes:
- He blamed it on the “peach blossom” and there is Zhuo Hua (灼华), the peach blossom demon.
- This text was translated by Kotori Translates, and given to BC Novels to publish.
- I helped with the footnotes, formatting, grammar, etc., the usual stuff that is needed to post this on the website.
- Please let me know if there are any errors. Thanks for reading!
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- 捂好马甲 – literally “cover your vest/mask” which is an internet slang meaning to protect one’s identity or secret persona
- He literally wrote “peach blossom” (桃花) but in context it means a romantic interest or a suitor.
- S aka a sadist
- 生无可恋 – literally “To have no desire to live; to be utterly disheartened or in despair.”