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Pei Bufan wasn’t left in the cold for long. No matter what, Ziche Duanyuan couldn’t bring himself to be truly harsh with the dumb cat who had been his constant companion. Even at his angriest, it was just a spanking.
From the room to the inn’s entrance, as soon as he took out his magic artifact, he immediately tossed the little black cat onto the bed, truly afraid that another second would freeze him solid. Even in his past life, he had never been this attentive to Zhong Yanqing.
Actually, thinking about it carefully, he hadn’t loved Zhong Yanqing that much either. He had simply been captivated by being watched, admired, and meticulously cared for by someone, and thought that person was a suitable match. It couldn’t even be called ‘liking’; he was just easy on the eyes.
Ziche Duanyuan lay down on the bed, holding the little black cat in one hand, and examined him carefully from top to bottom. His focused gaze scared Pei Bufan so much his fur almost stood on end.
Such a tiny little cat, pitch black all over, with only a pair of large, golden eyes that were full of spirit. Its pupils darted left and right, who knew what kind of mischief it was plotting. Although it could spit Nether Fire, it still couldn’t talk or shapeshift. Could it be special because it had a human soul inside? But no matter what, this was his little black cat.
Holding Pei Bufan in his arms, Ziche Duanyuan rubbed his chin against the soft fur on his head and his tender ears. His mood slowly improved.
Staring off into space at the black color, Ziche Duanyuan suddenly thought of that black-haired, black-eyed boy again, and his aura once more turned cold and murderous.
Pei Bufan shivered. The male lead is good one moment and bad the next. What is he doing?! As expected of someone with a single water spiritual root; their temperament was truly fickle. If he had known, he would have made it a wood spiritual root. Cultivators with wood spiritual roots, due to their attribute, were mostly benevolent and gentle in nature. He had even made a chart specifically for the correspondence between spiritual roots and personalities in his original settings! Always screwing himself over, This Lord really had the worst luck.
[Mission: Host, please kick Gong Yi away from the male lead’s side.
Completion Reward: Experience 2000, Gold 10, Transformation Card Fragment 1/4.
Failure Penalty: Continue to [BEEP——] with the male lead.]
Pei Bufan: You didn’t get enough of a show last time, did you?!
[Host need not worry. This time, the shapeshifting will be entirely handled by the System.]
‘I thank your entire family!1 By the way, if you were going to kick him away, why did you have to bring him along in the first place?!’
Because that was the original plot… Who would have thought you could screw it up this badly?! The system was also struggling. Where did it all go wrong? But given that the current reader-turned-Creator-God was really enjoying this kind of divine plot twist,2 you should just continue… Since the author-kun3 has already been thrown into the book to mess things up, it’s probably best to just give up on the original plot. Isn’t a story with an unknown ending more interesting?
[It doesn’t matter if you do this mission or not…]
‘I’ll do it!!’
Pei Bufan was suddenly full of fighting spirit.
“What are you thinking about this time?” Ziche Duanyuan pinched Pei Bufan’s ear. “It would really be better if you could talk…”
Pei Bufan was the type who couldn’t hide what he was thinking. But if you gave him a pen and paper, he would definitely think for a moment and then selectively write down what he wanted to tell you, which was frustrating.
System: …
Seeing the male lead’s face, Pei Bufan felt a throbbing pain in his butt. He turned around, presenting his little backside to the male lead’s face. I’m not gonna pay you any mind!4
Ziche Duanyuan sighed silently, kneading Pei Bufan’s tail. Then he pulled it upwards and saw a little chrysanthemum.5
Pei Bufan: Σ( ° △°|||)︴
The entire cat jumped up, turned around, and bared his teeth at the male lead.
Ziche Duanyuan: …
He really didn’t do it on purpose. It was indeed not very appropriate to do such a thing to a boy with a human mind in a cat’s body. A boy… It would be great if he could shapeshift. At first, he had hoped Pei Bufan could shapeshift for convenience. Now, it seemed he had other ideas.
At this thought, Ziche Duanyuan gave a cold smile internally. He had suffered because of this in his last life. Had he really not learned his lesson? In this life, he was once again starting to think about finding a partner. Indeed, deep down, he was still afraid of loneliness. His father had his mother. Who did he have?
He felt a slight wetness on his face. Ziche Duanyuan looked up and saw those golden eyes staring at him. He smiled, grabbed Pei Bufan’s little head, and planted a kiss directly on his forehead.
Pei Bufan: So, so happy! The handsome male lead kissed him!! Hmph hmph, is it because This Lord’s charm is irresistible? N-no, wait, we’re still in a cold war. No matter how happy I am, I absolutely cannot show it!!6
He turned his body away from the male lead, his mouth slightly open, revealing a glistening liquid.
Ziche Duanyuan: He looks very happy.
System: He looks very happy.
A person who is not good at hiding his inner feelings → Pei Bufan.
Zhuo Hua followed the round, rolling ball from a distance. She soon arrived at Sword Immortal Valley. Her cultivation was higher than the male lead’s, so he didn’t detect her, but she was stopped by Sword Immortal Valley’s huge formation barrier.
The pointed wooden shuttle emerged from the ground, and the bewitching woman emerged from it, gazing at the blue sky. “As expected, the climate in the south is much warmer. In that frigid place, the Tianwu Sect, I can only remain in a half-asleep state! It even ruined my flowering season! If it weren’t for that stinky old man from the Divination Pavilion saying he would definitely come, This Lady wouldn’t have gotten involved! But~~ Sword Immortal Valley really has a lot of handsome guys. Those muscles~~~”
Zhuo Hua drooled as she watched a group of men walk past in the distance.
The place with the most handsome boys was absolutely Sword Immortal Valley! The place with the most virgin c*cks7 who had preserved their primordial yang8 was also Sword Immortal Valley! Heaven~~~~~~
“Handsome guys~~~~~~” A voice suddenly sounding from behind her scared Zhuo Hua so much she almost jumped. She whipped her head around and saw a tall woman clutching a tree trunk, drooling as she stared at Sword Immortal Valley. She hadn’t detected this person’s arrival at all!! This meant the other party’s realm was at least two levels higher than hers!
Zhuo Hua lowered her head slightly, adopting a subservient posture, and asked in a low voice, “May I ask, Senior, are you a cultivator of Sword Immortal Valley?”
“No, no.” The woman waved her hand, continuing to watch the men. “I am just visiting Sword Immortal Valley.”9 She continued to drool.
Zhuo Hua: = = Visiting like this?!
“I am the Master of Qingyu Tower.” The woman took out an invitation card and waved it. “I am here to discuss matters concerning the centennial Grand Competition with the Valley Master of Sword Immortal Valley.” Her eyes never left the men of Sword Immortal Valley.
Zhuo Hua: ………………
Sorry, she was not very worldly. Did one really need to come in person, without bringing anyone along, just to discuss the Grand Competition, and hide here to stare at men??
“Hey hey, little peach tree.” The Master of Qingyu Tower waved at Zhuo Hua. “Look at that man. Isn’t he handsome? His muscles are so firm, and his primordial yang is still intact… I really want to take him back and let my little disciples have their first taste of meat…”10
Zhuo Hua, who hadn’t had much contact with Qingyu Tower: Σ( ° △°|||)
If you wanted an example of domineering presence leaking out,11 this was it!! Coming to Sword Immortal Valley, the sect with the strongest average strength, to snatch men? To let her disciples have their first taste of meat?! As a demon cultivator, she didn’t quite understand. Have the female cultivators among humans all become so ferocious now? Even when she seduced people, at most she would just perform a seductive dance; she had never escalated to physically snatching someone!! …But maybe it was something to consider?
Enough! Master of Qingyu Tower, your moral integrity has long been shattered, so please stop opening strange doors for the younger generation, okay?!
“Master! You can’t do that! And your image…” A gentle-looking female cultivator, her forehead covered in sweat, suddenly appeared, grabbed the Master’s arm, and started pulling her away. “We came here on official business!” She was panting, clearly having just rushed to get there. Her beautiful eyes turned and saw Zhuo Hua. Her delicate eyebrows furrowed slightly, and she spoke in a soft, gentle voice, “Fellow Daoist, are you also here to see the Valley Master of Sword Immortal Valley? Why don’t we go together?”
Now that things had come to this, could she still say no? Zhuo Hua thought for a moment, prepared her excuse, and followed them.
After exchanging names with the female cultivator, she learned that she was the second direct disciple of the Master of Qingyu Tower, named Qi Ruxue.
During their entry into Sword Immortal Valley with the two of them, the Master of Qingyu Tower tried multiple times to pounce on the sword cultivating disciples passing by. Thanks to Qi Ruxue holding her back in time, a tragedy was averted. This was also the reason why no matter where the Master went, she had to be accompanied by at least one rational disciple. They were afraid that at some unknown time, an innocent man passing by would be defiled by their Master… Just thinking about it felt so sad.
Zhuo Hua secretly observed the cute-looking but lecherous-faced woman from the corner of her eye. She could never have imagined that this was the legendary Master of Qingyu Tower. The current Master’s name was Guihai Xiangmo. Those who knew her all called her the Demoness. The Demoness had only one hobby in her life: beautiful people. Gender did not matter. But, if a handsome man and a beautiful woman appeared before her at the same time, she would stare at the man first. No matter what, the Demoness was still a woman with normal sexual preferences.
No matter if they were male or female, as long as they were above average in appearance, she would visually molest them from top to bottom. Just like she was doing now = =.
She had another characteristic, which was that she was fiercely protective of her own. Without asking for reasons or right and wrong, she held the belief of “I will protect my people even if I die,” and never looked back on this path. However, she was strict with her subordinates and never allowed her people to become great villains, so no major incidents had ever occurred. Many people praised her for this, though they never forgot to add at the end that it would be even better if she didn’t have that strange personality…
Finally meeting the Valley Master of Sword Immortal Valley, Zhuo Hua saw the Demoness’s eyes light up. She pounced on him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Long time no see. Your primordial yang is still intact, right~~~ Wanna have a go at it?” Then she puckered her lips and went in for a kiss.
Zhuo Hua: …Compared to this one, she was pathetically weak! As expected of the Master of Qingyu Tower, who walked an unorthodox path and practiced dual cultivation! She even dared to flirt with the Valley Master of Sword Immortal Valley!
***
Author’s Note:
Little Theater Skit – The Demoness’s Inner Monologue]
Demoness: That man’s muscles are so nice. They must feel great to the touch (ˉ﹃ˉ)
Demoness: This woman’s chest is pretty big too, but not as big as mine~~~
Demoness: (Staring at the lower half of the body)12 Mmm, seems like he’s well-endowed. I just don’t know if his stamina is any good…
Demoness: (Staring at the waist) Bend over, yes, yes, just like that!! Mmm, very good flexibility~~
Demoness: Disciple, what did you think of those few just now?
Second Disciple: (Sweating) Master, all the new recruits are going to be scared away by you…………
***
[Special Note from the Author]
In the last two chapters, this stupid author forgot that the protagonist was still wearing the fun accessory (?) around his neck and left that detail out. Because I’m currently on a ranking list, I’m not allowed to fix typos, as it would be counted as a “fake update.”13 I can only explain it here first and apologize to all you dears. This was this stupid author’s oversight QAQ. I can’t modify it for now, but the fix would just be a matter of adding a scarf. The black cat’s identity has not been discovered (it wouldn’t be fun if it was discovered~~~ by your evil author-kun).
Since I started this novel, this stupid author has been splitting my personality every day, because I have another account where I’m simultaneously doing daily updates for a Hunter x Hunter romance fanfic. But that one is almost finished, and this stupid author will soon be liberated.
Because every time I write, I have to substitute myself into the characters’ roles, I’m constantly switching between male and female every day. When I open a document, the first thing I have to do is think about what my gender is… (:зゝ∠)
This stupid author will add a ‘Special Notes’ document in the future!! This kind of oversight absolutely cannot happen again QAQ!
Your author-kun will work hard! makes a fist
********
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Reika’s Notes:
- He blamed it on the “peach blossom” and there is Zhuo Hua (灼华), the peach blossom demon.
- This text was translated by Kotori Translates, and given to BC Novels to publish.
- I helped with the footnotes, formatting, grammar, etc., the usual stuff that is needed to post this on the website.
- Please let me know if there are any errors. Thanks for reading!
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- 我谢谢你全家啊 – obviously slang, like “Thanks for nothing” but with more bite.
- 神展开 – Internet slang for a sudden, unexpected, and/or absurd plot twist that completely changes the direction of the story.
- Yes, this was in the original, the author used the Japanese suffix.
- 就不鸟你 – Literally “I won’t bird you” with bird (鸟) as slang for “to pay attention to” or “to give a damn about.”
- 小菊花 – very common slang term for the anus.
- 绝壁不能表现粗来 – a string of internet slang. 绝壁 (juébì, sheer cliff) is a homophone for 绝对 (juéduì, absolutely). 粗来 (cūlái, come out) is cutesy baby talk for 出来 (chūlái, to show/come out).
- 童子鸡 – very blunt and colloquial slang term for a male virgin.
- 元阳 – a pure form of qi/essence/energy people are born with. Men have primordial yang, women have primordial yin.
- 奴 – this is a very archaic and self-deprecating way for a woman to refer to herself, translating to “I, your servant.”
- 开荤 – To eat meat for the first time (after a period of vegetarianism). Slang for losing one’s virginity.
- 霸气侧漏 – A popular internet slang term to describe someone who is overwhelmingly cool, confident, and powerful.
- 下三路 – literally the “lower three paths.” A martial arts term referring to the lower parts of the body (legs and groin) as targets, but used here as slang for a person’s private parts.
- 伪更 – On webnovel platforms, updating a chapter just to fix a typo can be seen as “cheating” the system to get more visibility without adding new content.