Chapter 15 – Being an Author is a High Risk Occupation

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The formal master-disciple ceremony would have to wait until after the Grand Competition. Before that, they just went through some internal procedures, arranging for Ziche Duanyuan to live in a small courtyard within Ding Ruojian’s Wenjian Courtyard. He was given a jade slip to record a drop of his heart’s blood, which activated his access rights to Sword Immortal Valley and facilities like the sword practice stages as the Sect Master’s personal disciple. However, his identity had not yet been announced to the public.

Ding Ruojian already had three personal disciples before taking on Ziche Duanyuan. It was just that one was in seclusion, one was traveling far away, and one had been sent out to recruit disciples and had not yet returned. It would be at least a few days before they could meet.

The first day in Sword Immortal Valley was relatively free. It was set aside for Ziche Duanyuan to settle in, so there was nothing scheduled and no one would come to disturb him.

This was great news for Ziche Duanyuan, but for Pei Bufan…

Pei Bufan: Nagging Tripitaka¹ (Ding Ruojian), hurry up and come get your fourth disciple! He’s being so scary!!! QAQ

The one who had frightened the little black cat until all its fur stood on end, Ziche Duanyuan, was currently wearing a wicked smile. He held a small knife in his right hand and beckoned to Pei Bufan with his left. “Come here, I’ll be very, very gentle…”

Pei Bufan turned tail and fled. Ziche Duanyuan launched himself forward in a bear pounce, pinning the cat in his arms. With one hand, he grabbed its collar, and with the other, he began to cut.

Pei Bufan: “Dude, be gentle! If this thing could actually be broken, this lord would have taken it off himself ages ago!!” Watch my neck with that stupid knife, aaaaaahhh!!!

It was truly a miserable series of meows.

After expending the strength of nine bulls and two tigers² without managing to make the slightest cut in the seemingly soft ribbon, Ziche Duanyuan was a bit puzzled. He rubbed the ribbon, “What on earth is this made of? It’s so tough.” If he knew the material, he could find some to make a few pieces of good defensive clothing.

Seeing the cold, glinting blade finally move away from his little neck, Pei Bufan flopped onto the bed, completely drained, having nearly scared himself into peeing.

Ziche Duanyuan grabbed Pei Bufan and turned him over and over, but couldn’t find a clasp on the collar anywhere. The item had appeared on Pei Bufan when they left the secret realm, and he had asked about it, but Pei Bufan’s answer had been extremely vague. One thing was clear, though: Pei Bufan didn’t want to wear this thing either, but he just couldn’t get it off! In truth, Ziche Duanyuan didn’t think there was anything wrong with the collar; he even found it quite cute, a light-colored collar on a black cat. There was just one thing that dissatisfied him: he wasn’t the one who had put it on Pei Bufan.

From the moment Pei Bufan was ‘born’ in his palm, Ziche Duanyuan had considered him his property. Even after learning that the other was, like himself, reborn after death, this mindset of his hadn’t changed.

Being so self-centered is not good, dear!³

Ziche Duanyuan thought for a moment, then reached out and hooked Pei Bufan’s collar again. He took out the small knife and began carefully carving something onto the bell.

Pei Bufan broke out in a cold sweat. Dude, keep your hand steady…

A moment later, the male lead put down his knife, pleased. “Done.”

Pei Bufan pawed at it for a long time but couldn’t see what Ziche Duanyuan had carved.

The ever-helpful System prompted: 【It is a cute meow-meow bell collar, now engraved with ‘This cat is the property of Ziche Duanyuan’.】

Pei Bufan: …D**n it!⁴ Do you think you’re carving a dog tag?! You wanna write down a home address too, buddy?!

Because of this, Pei Bufan ignored Ziche Duanyuan for the rest of the day.

Ziche Duanyuan knew he was angry. However, before he could figure out how to placate his sulking ‘pet,’ a delicate voice came from outside the door. “Master, do you require hot water?”

The sun is still high in the sky! We’re not washing our faces or taking a bath, what’s the hot water for?!

Hearing Gong Yi’s voice, Ziche Duanyuan’s relatively good mood soured. Pei Bufan was angry, and now he was angry too.

“No!” Ziche Duanyuan replied in a cold tone.

When children of prestigious families went to sects for cultivation, it was like rich kids going to an elite school. Although there were no rules forbidding them from bringing servants, how many actually did? It wasn’t like they were so useless they couldn’t manage their daily lives. A simple spell could handle most chores, so who would bring a person?

In other sects, like the populous Youran Sect, it wouldn’t be strange for a few pampered dandies⁵ to bring servants. And for the unconventional disciples of the Qingyu Tower, it would be weirder if they didn’t bring people. But Sword Immortal Valley was the place with the most arduous training among the major sects. Everyone who came here was capable of enduring hardship. Bringing a pet was understandable. But bringing a servant? Ziche Duanyuan was likely the only one. The person who had led him here earlier had given him a very strange look.

Outside, Gong Yi heard Ziche Duanyuan not only refuse but not even open the door. He pondered for a moment, unwilling to retreat just like that, and spoke again. “Then is there anything Master needs…”

“No! Scram!”

Hearing the surging anger in Ziche Duanyuan’s voice, Gong Yi was frightened and immediately ran off, not daring to show his face again for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, the more Ziche Duanyuan thought about it, the angrier he got. He demanded, “Why did you bring him here?”

Pei Bufan glanced at him, then turned his little butt to face him, too lazy to explain.

What was there to explain? As a man, Pei Bufan, who had yet to meet someone he liked, naturally didn’t understand the mentality of refusing a willing partner who came knocking. It’s not like he was asking you to marry him! He thought he was doing Ziche Duanyuan a favor—it could raise his cultivation level. It was one thing for Ziche Duanyuan to be ungrateful, but why get so angry? If you don’t want him, then don’t. Did he hold a knife to his throat and force him to bring the guy? Okay, what happened in the secret realm was out of necessity and doesn’t count! Or did the male lead want to carry around a cat that had lost all its fur?!

Don’t talk to him about integrity. As Ziche Duanyuan’s creator, he knew the male lead’s character like the back of his hand⁶. He looked all refined, but in reality, he was little different from a beast. He had no integrity and no shame⁷, and had basically screwed his way through the entire cultivation world, picking up one shou after another.

Getting the silent treatment after not receiving a response, Ziche Duanyuan felt deeply wronged. He left Pei Bufan alone in the room and stormed out to do his own thing.

After a long silence, Pei Bufan slowly turned his little head. Confirming that the man was really gone, he rummaged through his inventory, pulled out a transformation card, and chose to use it.

His body felt a painful stretching sensation, a ‘pleasure’ so intense that it made Pei Bufan weep⁸.

That damn scammer⁹ of a System didn’t even give him a painless version!!

【The first time is always a little painful.】

“Ptooey!”

A few dozen seconds later, the black-furred cat had vanished, replaced by a naked youth with black hair and black eyes.

Finally seeing normal paws—no, hands, Pei Bufan wept with joy.

I thought I’d never get the chance to be human again in this life, meow QUQ.

He lowered his head and licked his fingers, then his whole body went stiff.

The after-effects of being a cat were a bit much…

But at least he was a person now! Pei Bufan stood up and proudly swished his tail… his tail… tail…

“WTF!¹⁰ System, you scammer! If you’re gonna change me, why not do it completely?! What is this thing?!” Pei Bufan was furious. He grabbed his own tail, pointed at the heavens, and cursed. The cat ears on his head twitched along with his movements.

System: …He’s a bit stupid, but he looks pretty cute.

“Talk! Don’t you dare play dumb!”

System: 【Items that are paid for in advance will always have some flaws.】

“Flaw your sister’s husband!!”¹¹

Footsteps sounded from outside the door.

Startled, Pei Bufan instantly transformed back into a black cat, landing silently on the bed. He quickly scrambled off and slipped out through a crack in the side window.

Ziche Duanyuan pushed the door open. “Bufan, I heard a noise, was that…” His words stopped. There was no one in the room, and the black cat was gone too.

Ziche Duanyuan’s face instantly darkened.

The runaway Pei Bufan felt not a shred of guilt. On the contrary, he was super happy¹², hopping and skipping along. If he could speak, he’d definitely be humming a song.

Tianwu Sect~~ Oh, Tianwu Sect~~
A bunch of demon and beast cultivators~~
This lord is here~~~

If you were to say which sect had the cultivators with the highest beauty value, it would be Qingyu Tower, followed by the demon and beast cultivators of Tianwu Sect. Not only were the women beautiful, but the men were too. The latter part was the key point!

And he might even get to see a dog demon with long white hair, pointy ears, and golden eyes, just as handsome as Sesshomaru!!! That was his god!!

Even if he could only appreciate from afar, it would be worth it!

“System, how do I get to Tianwu Sect¹³?” Pei Bufan, having completely forgotten about Ziche Duanyuan, swished his tail. “Gimme a little arrow~”

System: After cursing me out like that, you really expect me to help you?!

“Hey! If you want me to work, you have to give me a goal!”

The System reluctantly replied: 【It’s too far. Your little short legs can’t run there directly.】

Pei Bufan: =A=

A small arrow appeared before his eyes, pointing steadily west.

【This is the nearest Tianwu Sect recruitment point.】

“I guess you have a conscience after all.” Pei Bufan lifted his butt and started running quickly in that direction.

The System, which had worked hard without getting a single word of thanks¹⁴: “…”

********

Author’s note:

A glimpse of the future, after Ziche Duanyuan becomes a god and dominates his own realm:

Subordinate: May I ask what the conditions are for recruiting people into the city?
Ziche Duanyuan: Strength and race do not matter.
Subordinate: (Nods)
Ziche Duanyuan: (Narrows his eyes) No one with white hair.
Subordinate: (Takes notes)
Ziche Duanyuan: (Frowns) No one with pointed ears.
Subordinate: (Takes notes)
Ziche Duanyuan: (Gritting his teeth) No one with golden eyes.
Subordinate: (Takes notes)
Ziche Duanyuan: (Slams the table) And absolutely no dog demons whatsoever!!!
Subordinate: …
And then, sometime later:
Pei Bufan: (Curled into a ball, swishing his tail, looking at the people around him) There’s no Prince Charming¹⁵ here, not even any similar ones…¹⁶ QUQ

********

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Reika’s Notes:

• This text was translated by Kotori Translates, and given to BC Novels to publish.
• I helped with the footnotes, formatting, grammar, etc., the usual stuff that is needed to post this on the website.
• Please let me know if there are any errors. Thanks for reading!

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1. 唐僧 – The name of the monk from the classic novel Journey to the West. In modern Chinese culture, he is the archetype of someone who is extremely long-winded, preachy, and nags incessantly.
2. 九牛二虎之力- an idiom to describe putting forth a tremendous, almost superhuman, amount of effort.
3. The original uses the word 亲 (qīn), an affectionate term like “dear” or “honey” common in online shopping and chats.
4. 妈蛋 – a common, mild online curse word. It’s a slightly altered, less harsh version of a stronger curse.
5. 娇生惯养纨绔子弟 – A combination of two phrases. 娇生惯养 means “pampered and spoiled since birth,” while 纨绔子弟 refers to profligate sons of rich families, or “dandies.”
6. 门清 – Slang derived from Mahjong. Literally “pure hand” since it’s a winning hand composed entirely of tiles the player has drawn, without having discarded any tiles. The slang meaning is to be an expert in something.
7. 没节操又没下限  – literally “No integrity and no lower limit.”
8. 泪流满面 (lèi liú mǎn miàn): An idiom literally meaning “tears stream down the face.” Used here for comedic exaggeration.
9. 坑货 (kēng huò): A very common internet slang term for a person or thing that screws you over. A “scammer,” “troll,” or “rip-off.”
10. 卧槽 (wòcáo): The most common online equivalent of “WTF” or “f*ck” in Chinese. It’s a slightly altered version of a stronger curse.
11. 瑕疵你妹夫 (xiácī nǐ mèifu): A creative, nonsensical online curse. The System uses the word 瑕疵 (xiácī) for “flaw.” Pei Bufan retorts by adding a relative, 你妹夫 (nǐ mèifu), “your sister’s husband.” It’s an aggressive, playground-style insult, similar in spirit to “Flaw my a*s!” or “Your mom’s a flaw!”
12. 灰常嗨皮 (huī cháng hāi pí): Cutesy internet slang. 灰常 is a mispronunciation of 非常 (fēicháng), “very,” and 嗨皮 is a phonetic transcription of the English word “happy.”
13. 肿么走 (zhǒng me zǒu): Cutesy internet slang for 怎么走 (zěnme zǒu), “how do I get there?”
14. 任苦任劳 (rèn kǔ rèn láo): An idiom meaning “to bear hardships and work hard without complaint.”
15. 男神 – literally “male god” meaning Mr Perfect; Adonis; Prince Charming.
16. 木有 – a cutesy, informal internet slang version of the standard word 没有 meaning “don’t have” or “there are no…”.