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Fantasy is always crueler than reality.
In his fantasy: Pei Bufan stands with one paw on the eight-headed spider’s corpse, head held high, looking down upon the adoring Ziche Duanyuan. “Your grandpa’s got you covered, you don’t have to be afraid of anything!”
In reality: Pei Bufan lets out a yowl and pounces again, only to be knocked back by the eight-headed spider that had just climbed down. He is barely caught by Ziche Duanyuan.
Pei Bufan, with swirly eyes of dizziness: System, you f**king tricked me again…
Ziche Duanyuan, holding the black cat, dodged the spider’s attacks in a sorry state. The black cat’s series of moronic acts had given Ziche Duanyuan a moment to catch his breath. After slightly adjusting and controlling the true qi in his body, Ziche Duanyuan protected the little black cat and began a game of you-chase-me with the spider. He had no intention of letting the black cat escape alone, regardless of whether the cat would try to.
He had finally found a little creature that would stick with him through life and death. Even if it was just a cat, it brought a trace of warmth to the reborn Ziche Duanyuan’s icy heart.
From now on, they would share a quilt in life and a tomb in death.1 Okay, so the phrasing wasn’t entirely appropriate, but the meaning was right.
Let’s light a candle for the unilaterally and permanently bound Pei Bufan.
If we make it out of this alive, let’s form a contract, Ziche Duanyuan suddenly found his own thought amusing. In a life-or-death moment like this, he actually had the mind to think about such things. And the one he wanted to form a contract with was a completely useless little Firewood Cat. He had probably gone mad.
But his heart felt no regret for this thought. There was even a faint sense of anticipation.
Forming a contract meant sharing one’s life. As long as he was alive, the little black cat wouldn’t have to worry about its lifespan running out. This was very good.
While Ziche Duanyuan was desperately fleeing for the future of one man and one cat, Pei Bufan was huddled in his arms, trying to brew something up. But that damn Netherflame just wouldn’t come out! QAQ!
The system, which could no longer bear to watch: […Expel true qi to form Netherflame.]
Pei Bufan: “Where’s the true qi? Why can’t I feel it?”
[It condenses from your navel to the Guanyuan acupoint.]
“Speak human, holy shit!”
System: Which part of that wasn’t human language?
[Your lower abdomen. You need to feel a hot current surging there.]
“System, you have no shame,”2 Pei Bufan retorted, his face turning beet red. Luckily, you couldn’t see anything on his fluffy black face. “Now is not the time to be thinking about that kind of thing.” Even if I did think about it, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. QAQ.
System: Who’s the one with no shame here?! Are you trying to force me to curse at you?!
The system, which considered itself to have a very good disposition, managed to choke back the retort that was about to burst forth: [Three inches below your navel, right in the center. Just hold your breath completely, and then spit it out!] He had resorted to layman’s terms. If he still didn’t get it, he was truly hopeless. At worst, he’d go back and take a pay cut. This job was too tiring, mentally exhausting!
“You should’ve said so earlier,” Pei Bufan grumbled, trying to hold his breath and then spitting it out.
A ball of black flame grazed past the male lead’s shoulder. The clothes made of Heavenly Silkworm Silk were instantly scorched, revealing a patch of honey-colored skin with a slight burn mark.
Is that a roasted smell? The black cat sniffed the air. When he saw the male lead’s right shoulder, he froze. No wonder it smelled roasted; he had cooked a small piece of the male lead’s shoulder, holy shit!!
Ziche Duanyuan lowered his head, his dark pupils staring darkly at him.3
Pei Bufan guiltily shrunk his head. He had only wanted to test it first. If it worked, he would charge out, to avoid being pathetically beaten back by the spider like before.
But now it was even worse! The male lead’s face was so dark you could dip it in ink and use it for calligraphy!!
Pei Bufan let out a low meow. Seeing that the male lead’s face was still pitch-black, he went over and licked his shoulder.
The roasted skin was hard…
QAQ I was wrong!
Just then, the spider lunged again. Pei Bufan found an opportunity to slip out of the male lead’s arms. He took a deep breath and spat a large mouthful at the spider. The black flames instantly engulfed it, and the spider let out a piercing shriek.
If it weren’t for the fact that the spider’s silk and mucus happened to be the perfect fuel for Netherflame, the flame wouldn’t have caused so much damage. Unlike ordinary fire, Netherflame could even directly burn the spider’s silk glands. An attack there was fatal to the eight-headed spider.
A Golden Core spider, easily taken care of by a single mouthful of Netherflame. This was a classic case of one thing conquering another.
In this world, only the extremely rare high-level spirit beast, the Netherworld Bird, and a few divine beasts could spit Netherflame. That’s why many people raised this type of spider. And the Ziche Duanyuan from the original novel was only so successful because the author had given him a golden finger.4 If anyone else had encountered this, they would have certainly died here.
The way Ziche Duanyuan looked at Pei Bufan changed again. Could it be that this isn’t a Firewood Cat? But a divine beast?
Pei Bufan took a few steps towards the male lead and then stopped. He lifted his little head to look at Ziche Duanyuan’s burnt shoulder, and his whole body cowered. His ears flattened back, making his face look smaller and his eyes bigger, complete with a pitiful little gaze. Ziche Duanyuan knew he was begging for forgiveness. In reality, he wasn’t that angry. A small wound like this would heal with a bit of ointment; it was nothing to worry about. But in Pei Bufan’s eyes, it was different. Having lived his whole life in a peaceful era, even a paper cut made him consider getting a tetanus shot. This burnt shoulder could be rated on an injury scale! And that person had been so good to him, feeding him, raising him, and holding him while fleeing for his life…
He felt even guiltier, what to do.5
Seeing Pei Bufan looking like he wanted to curl himself into a ball, Ziche Duanyuan smiled. He scooped up the black cat and stroked its head. “I’m not angry.” He looked around at the still-burning grotto-heaven. “Let’s get out of here first.”
Pei Bufan whimpered.
After leaving the grotto-heaven and finding a quiet place to treat their wounds, Ziche Duanyuan turned, grabbed the black cat, and pinned it to the grass. Then he flipped it over, holding its paws and tail to study it carefully. But no matter how he looked, he felt it was just a Firewood Cat.
Rare beasts were divided into spirit beasts, immortal beasts, and divine beasts. These were the three levels that cultivators cared about. Of these, only spirit beasts could be found in the Lower and Middle Realms. Immortal beasts existed in the Upper Realm and could only be encountered and owned by immortals. In the Middle Realm, one could only get one if they were lucky enough to be gifted one by an immortal with whom they had a connection, or if they found one in a grotto-heaven left behind by an immortal. There were no other ways. After all, immortal beasts wouldn’t come to the spiritually-scarce Middle and Lower Realms to lay their eggs. As for divine beasts, Ziche Duanyuan had only seen a few descriptions in books, but the books were very ancient, and he didn’t know if they were accurate.
However, high-level spirit beasts could speak human language from birth, and immortal beasts could take human form from birth. Could it be that this divine beast was inferior to high-level spirit beasts and immortal beasts?
Or was this one an exception? If it were mute, you could say it was a birth defect, but this black cat could clearly meow.
Could it be an issue of intelligence? After thinking it over, this seemed to be the only explanation.
Pei Bufan, whose intelligence was once again being questioned, angrily scratched the ground. “Dammit, you’re pinning me down and being a hooligan again! When you’re done groping, let me up!!!”
Seeing Pei Bufan meowing so pitifully, Ziche Duanyuan let go of the cat. Suddenly, another question came to mind, and he asked abruptly, “Who are you?”
Pei Bufan, who was in the middle of grooming himself, instantly froze, his mind a complete blank.
Seeing his reaction, Ziche Duanyuan immediately understood. As he suspected, it wasn’t an ordinary cat.
‘What should I do? System? Should I tell him?’ Pei Bufan internally called for backup and advice. But the system was as silent as if it were dead.
“What’s your name? Why don’t you talk?” Ziche Duanyuan continued to ask. “Or do you not want to?”
‘I’d also like to know why I can’t talk!’
Poking Pei Bufan’s little head, Ziche Duanyuan continued, “Meow once if you can’t talk, meow twice if you don’t want to.”
‘…’ Is there a f**king difference? ‘System! Get out here, what do I do in this situation?!’
The system finally popped up: [Confession brings leniency. He’s already guessed.]
Pei Bufan was choked for words. It seemed he didn’t have many options besides confessing. He knew the male lead he had written. The reborn Ziche Duanyuan’s suspicious nature could rival Cao Cao’s.6 He would overthink everything anyone did or said, afraid of repeating the mistakes of his past life. He wasn’t an actor and couldn’t lie. If the male lead saw even a hint of something fishy, he would definitely be crushed to death.
“If you’ve made up your mind, answer quickly,” Ziche Duanyuan said, narrowing his eyes and resting his chin on his hand.
Pei Bufan knew the male lead’s patience was wearing thin. So, he let out a weak meow.
So he can’t talk. Ziche Duanyuan nodded and moved on to the next question. “Were you a cultivator before, or an ordinary person?”
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Author’s note:
Pei Bufan: How did I get found out so fast? This is impossible!!
Author: The goodwill you build up as a cat is different from the goodwill you build up as a person. The kind built by a cat will cultivate a perfect master. If it were built by a person, it would cultivate a perfect…
Pei Bufan: A perfect shou?! In that case, I’ll confess, I’ll confess!
Author: (He’s a good gong, but… oh well, I’ll let him keep fantasizing for a while.) After all, when you’re trying to raise someone’s affection level, your identity in their eyes is different…
Pei Bufan: I get it now! Mmm, my beautiful little shou… (drools)
Author: (Ignorance really is bliss. It’s better if I don’t tell him.)
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Reika’s Notes:
- Oh, cliffhanger!
- This text was translated by Kotori Translates, and given to BC Novels to publish.
- I helped with the footnotes, formatting, grammar, etc., the usual stuff that is needed to post this on the website.
- Please let me know if there are any errors. Thanks for reading!
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- 生同衾死同穴 – It’s a classical Chinese vow of eternal love, meaning to share a blanket (live together) in life and share a burial chamber (be buried together) in death. It’s a very serious and romantic expression, typically between spouses.
- 没下限 – literally “no lower limit.” It’s slang for someone who is shameless, perverted, or has no moral bottom line.
- The word 幽幽 (yōuyōu) is difficult to translate with a single word. It can mean dim, faint, deep, or tranquil, but here it describes a gaze that is dark, profound, and perhaps a little eerie or accusatory.
- A “golden finger” (金手指 jīnshǒuzhǐ) is a very common web novel term for a cheat, a special power, or an unfair advantage given to the protagonist, like a system or a powerful item.
- The original uses 肿么破 (zhǒng me pò), a cutesy, online way of writing 怎么破 (zěnme pò), which means “how to solve this?” or “what to do?”.
- Cao Cao (曹操) was a warlord from the late Eastern Han dynasty, famously portrayed in the classic novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms as a cunning and deeply suspicious ruler who would rather wrong others than be wronged himself. To say someone’s suspicion rivals his is a common expression.