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Chapter 92.4 The Reader and Protagonist Definitely Have to Be in True Love
Chapter Title: Gelbe Banane und Rosa Chrysantheme 🏵
Wait, should I introduce myself? Du Ze wondered after a slight pause. Sadly, his social barrier covered his mouth (only metaphorically) so he was unable to speak.
The skeleton seemed surprised that Du Ze didn’t respond. The black-haired youth just stood there with an impassive face, silent. Was he still too hungry to talk? The undead pulled out a carrot 🥕 from his pocket. He gave it to the stranger, who seemed delighted.
Now Du Ze was feeling a little embarrassed. He had nothing on him that he could use to pay for the food. Wait, no… he did have something. Triumphantly, he pulled out a pink chrysanthemum and gave it the skeleton.
The skeleton then took out a banana 🍌 from within his robes. Du Ze eagerly devoured the delicious fruit.
“Ahem.” The skeleton coughed. “My name is Louis.”
“What?!” Du Ze was shocked.
“Ha! I was joking. Louis was my ancestor, apparently. I’m Xiu.”
“Du Ze.” His name is Xiu? Then this must be the world of “Mixed Blood.”
“Well, the point is… I’ve decided that everyone in the Chaos Continent is my enemy, therefore I will raise an army of undead to kill everyone and turn them into my undead minions.”
“Wow…” Du Ze could only manage to speak one syllable but he was actually quite excited. This was a really interesting dream! First there was that doujinshi, now there was an undead campaign.
“So you see, it was foolish of you to eat the food that I gave you. The carrot 🥕, eggplant 🍆, and cucumber 🥒 were all poisoned! Now you will become the first of my undead servants.”
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Du Ze was even more excited now. Was he going to turn into a Lich? Perhaps a vampire? Being a skeleton also seems fun… but he hoped he wouldn’t turn into a ghost. He wasn’t sure if he would enjoy being insubstantial.
Xiu was surprised that the other person didn’t start yelling, crying, or begging for mercy. Not that it would have helped him. He started waited an hour for that person to die from the poison but midnight came and went without him dying.
(TN: Du Ze’s 0-point restore, of course.)
The soul flames in the skeleton’s empty eye sockets flared up. He recited a summoning spell:
Wind on my face, sound in my ears. Water from my eyes, and you on my mind as I sink, diving down deep, deeper into your soul.
A banshee appeared. She was petite but had large … melons 🍈🍈. Xiu was a little irritated, he didn’t know why, when Du Ze started sneaking looks at her 🍈🍈 melons. The banshee pretended not to notice Du Ze’s drooling.
Du Ze: “…”
Xiu: “…”
Banshee: “…”
God Beast: “…”
The wind: “…”
“Oh for goodness’s sake! Fine, you can have them!” The banshee finally couldn’t stand it anymore. With an exasperated huff, she handed over the melons she was holding to the hungry-looking black-haired youth. “Just promise me you will always read this story at the bc novels website, okay? You might not be aware of it, but if you read this somewhere else, that means you are reading an unauthorized copy. If you think that reading it at a different site is okay, you’re wrong. This sort of thing makes the translator’s work harder since they have to spend a lot of time trying to stop those websites that copy their work.”
“Thank you,” said Du Ze politely. Unfortunately, all he could do was stand there, looking around for something sharp to cut the melon with.
“Give it here.” Xiu, exasperated at these silly shenanigans, took the melons and cut them into pieces with his death scythe.
“Thank you,” Du Ze said again. He enthusiastically began eating the two ripe, juicy melons.
Xiu gave the banshee instructions to scout the Lost Land. He wanted to find a way out of this place. His ancestor, Louis, had been able to escape from here so there had to be an exit somewhere.
Du Ze finished eating the melons and started re-reading the doujinshi for the nth time.
Xiu walked over to him and tried to read over his shoulder.
“What is that?”
“This is a book.”
“I can’t read those words.”
“But you can understand the content from the images, right?”
“Is that a ****???”
“Yes, of course.”
“Why is it ****ing another man’s ****? Oh, that’s rope must be hurting that man’s ****. The **** is ****ing the **** this time? That makes no sense. The anatomy of that is all wrong, logically-”
“Shhh, please read it silently and just enjoy the scenes. And ‘logic’? What’s that? Can it be eaten?”
Xiu and Du Ze spent a very pleasant time reading the evil little book. Xiu got very excited at some of the more hardcore scenes. They gave him lots of ideas… His eyes became shiny.
Du Ze’s glasses were fogging up.
“Er, could you please not breath on me so much?”
“This seems doable…” Xiu was breathing heavily, which is strange since he is a skeleton with no lungs. “I just need someone to try it with.”
The two men looked at each other.
Du Ze had an evil thought: what if someone found that this doujinshi restores itself after it was damaged? Then he will think that it is a heavenly book. Day and night he will study it. Perhaps a whole group of people from all over the continent will research the unique restore phenomenon. But how can a book be shared? By copying it! Such a magical book must surely have great research value! Hundreds of copies will be made … Then …
Perhaps the people of the Chaos Continent will become gay or fujoshis/fudanshis like Du Ze. That would be interesting.
The thought of the doujinshi copies proliferating excited Du Ze so much.
Doujinshi: Therefore, this is absolutely true love, ah.
(to be continued)
*******
Translator’s Notes:
- Thank you for supporting the translator who has devoted months of hard work to bring you the English translation of this story.
Can logic be eaten though?
A mystery for the ages…
🙂