Chapter Two – When a Fanfic Protagonist Transmigrated into the Original Novel
Zhangsun Zijun woke up and saw the empty space beside him on the bed.
Last night, he and Yi Xichen had fought all night. According to common sense, Yi Xichen shouldn’t have been able to leave his bed for three days and nights. Right now, he should be here waiting for Zhangsun Zijun to knead his aching back and then rub his pistol for three days and three nights — Zhangsun Zijun was very confused. According to this development, Yi Xichen should still be bed. How come there were suddenly times when someone needed to pick flowers and trample the grass, stirring up the wolf’s anger?
(TN: 拈花惹草 – lit. to pick the flowers and trample the grass. Meaning: to frequent brothels or to sow one’s wild oats)
In this timeline, Zhangsun Zijun, as the protagonist of the story, didn’t quite understand why but when the plot needed to be developed, the “can’t get out of bed for three days and three nights” curse was lifted from Yi Xichen. Then for those three days, how long will it take?
Zhangsun Zijun was puzzled but didn’t bother to stress over it. He simply got up and groomed himself. A strange feeling was lingering in his heart as though something significant had changed, but everything seemed to be alright. At this moment, poor Zhangsun Zijun hadn’t realized yet, that although he is still the same man, the setting has been distorted by a mystical power from another dimension — this included his memory and various functions of his body.
But he was the only one who became distorted.
Dressed up in his clothes as a disciple, Zhangsun Zijun went out.
The color of the sky showed that it was still very early. Most of the disciples from Heavenly Sword Mountain were still asleep. The most diligent disciples in the sect were him and Yi Xichen. This is the reason why he and Yi Xichen had gone the highest and furthest. They were naturally gifted and heaven rewarded the diligent.
Zhangsun Zijun arrived at Peach Blossom Plain and saw a disciple dressed in black robes training his sword skills within the sea of flowers. His figure was graceful and lithe, like a startled swan or flying dragon. Though he wasn’t able to see that figure’s face, Zhangsun Zijun knew that it was Yi Xichen — the author wrote that as soon as he saw Yi Xichen, his thing will become as hard as iron. Therefore, he can always tell when Yi Xichen was within a 100 meters radius of his present location. Zhangsun Zijun didn’t have to use his eyes to see, his nose to smell, or his ears to hear; to find out whether Yi Xichen was nearby, he checked whether his pistol has risen or not.
Zhangsun Zijun frowned unhappily. Even though Yi Xichen was pregnant with the child, he was still so restless. Last night when he was eating, Yi Xichen sucked on Zhangsun Zijun’s finger and enticed him to go 300 rounds with him. Then this morning, Yi Xichen got up early to practice his sword skills, paying no mind to his body’s current condition!
At the same time, he was a bit puzzled: With such a beautiful appearance and swordsmanship, he should have a purely admiring attitude. Where did these physiological reactions come from? When did he begin to turn into a creature who responds with his lower body?
— Now that he left that distorted fanfic world, Zhangsun Zijun’s sudden awareness made him question many illogical things.
The figure stopped and Zhangsun Zijun heard Yi Xichen’s cheerful voice say: “Zijun, you’re here.”
Yi Xichen ran over and looked at Zhangsun Zijun. He smirked: “After playing with me last night, did you have a good night’s rest?”
Zhangsun Zijun looked at Yao Xichen’s flexible waist and buttocks: “Does your backside hurt?”
Yi Xichen placed his hands on his hips, at a loss: “Why would my backside hurt?”
Zhangsun Zijun kept silent and secretly wondered if Yi Xichen was sarcastically complaining about him not working hard enough.
Yi Xichen didn’t dwell on this topic. He smiled and said, “Zijun, come and practice swordplay with me.”
Zhangsun Zijun shook his head. Sword training with Yi Xichen was a boring daily routine. The author wrote that “whenever they train the sword, it’s 100% certain that they will end up sword training in bed.” In fact, no matter what they do together, they will automatically fall into the “100% ending in bed” setting. Zhangsun Zijun felt very tired of it all.
Yi Xichen was stunned. This was the first time that his invitation to practice swordplay with senior martial brother was rejected. Zijun was a sword fanatic.The two of them were disciples studying under the same master and often trained together in perfect harmony.1
With a mischievous expression on his face, Yi Xichen said teasingly: “Zijun is worried about hurting me? You would feel bad if you did!”
Don’t you know that jumping up and down like that could easily hurt our child? Zhangsun Zijun grew increasingly annoyed and said in a somewhat reproachful tone: “This is nonsense! You know your condition.”
“Huh?” Yi Xichen was surprised by his words. What condition? Nonsense? What happened to Zhangsun Zijun today?
Zhangsun Zijun turned around and was going to leave but Yi Xichen wouldn’t let him go so easily and shouted: “Zijun, watch out!” Then Yi Xichen used his sword to stab towards Zhangsun Zijun’s torso!
Yi Xichen was sure that Zhangsun Zijun would be able to intercept his sword strike. He wanted to train and there wasn’t a training partner more suitable than Zhangsun Zijun.
Zhangsun Zijun swiftly drew his sword to block Yi Xichen’s move, not expecting any tricks. There was a flash of light and Zhangsun Zijun felt heat rushing to his hand, causing him to almost dropped his sword.
Yi Xichen had secretly added a fire symbol to the sword when he wasn’t looking. However, this was just a small trick he played to tease Zhangsun Zijun. Yi Xichen quickly withdrew his sword then started to fight seriously.
After they sparred for a few rounds, Zhangsun Zijun couldn’t help but feel that something was strange. Today’s Yi Xichen was very different! In the past, when they trained Yi Xichen was always swaying his waist and twisting his buttocks as though he was dancing erotically. But Zhangsun Zijun secretly disliked this. The sword is the sword. A cultivator’s sword is his heart. It shouldn’t be used licentiously and obscenely like that. Therefore, he never quite appreciated Yi Xichen’s swordplay. He liked Yi Xichen’s quick and clever swordsmanship today.
“It’s rare for you to act so manly.” Zhangsun Zijun gave him some slight praise.
“??? Of course, I am a man!” Yi Xichen’s mouth twitched. What was wrong with Zijun today? He’s acting strange!
A bit of spiritual energy from the sword flashed out. Yi Xichen quickly dodged it but a piece of his clothes was cut. Zhangsun Zijun was shocked and quickly retreated — he couldn’t help himself, he had started sparring seriously and had almost hurt Yi Xichen.
Yi Xichen didn’t care at all. He pointed his sword at Zhangsun Zijun’s feet and shot out spiritual energy. Zhangsun Zijun quickly moved backwards, stepping on a stone that Yi Xichen had just kicked. Zhangsun Zijun thought that it was just a stone so he didn’t pay any attention to it. To his surprised, when he stepped on it he felt that his footing was unstable. He had a bad feeling about it, but by that time it was too late.
Brown mucus spilled from the “stone” and drenched Zhangsun Zijun’s shoes, making him feel sick.
“Hahahaha!” Yi Xichen laughed.
At the heavenly Sword Sect, Yi Xichen was one of the least talented disciples. He was a fire attribute false spirit root.2 If it wasn’t for the Medicine Hall’s elders looking after him and his parents sending gifts, someone like him would never have been allowed to cross the sect’s threshold.
Although Yi Xichen tried very hard, his lack of talent was difficult to make up for. His spiritual sword skills and sword intent couldn’t measure up to others. This caused him to use many unorthodox methods that made people laugh or cry, but also allowed him to win more often.
Yi Xichen saw that Zhangsun Zijun had fallen for his trick. Smirking, he swaggered towards Zhangsun Zijun, but he was too careless and slipped on a patch of grass that was wet with dew. Turning pale with fright, he fell down backwards.
Zhangsun Zijun was even more anxious than Yi Xichen was. He immediately threw away the shoes that were stuck in the mucus and flew over to him: “Be careful of our child!!”
Yi Xichen was shocked: “Huh???”
Zhangsun Zijun caught him by the waist before Yi Xichen could fall on the ground.
Zhangsun Zijun scolded him with a grave expression on his face: “It doesn’t matter if you hurt yourself but our child is not to blame! Why are you so capricious?!”
“ … Our, our child?! What?!” Yi Xichen’s facial expression was one of incredulity.
“If you hate me then come at me, but the child is innocent!” With a solemn expression on his face, Zhangsun Zijun pressed his hand on Yi Xichen’s stomach. When he didn’t feel any movement from the fetus, he was shocked: “Yi Xichen you had a miscarriage?!!”
Yi Xichen: “???!!!”
- LOL, the fanfic Yi Xichen likes to shake his behind when he’s fighting? Hahahahaha!
- All of the weird punctuation is from the raws. I guess the author is trying to go for a casual fanfic type of style.
- 琴瑟和鸣 – lit. qin and se (musical instruments) in harmony. Meaning: in perfect harmony; felicity of husband and wife; conjugal bliss
- 他是火属性的伪灵根 – that’s what it said “fire type fake spirit root.” No idea what it means exactly except that it’s not good.