Chapter 59 – The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

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Chapter 59: Ice Disappears, Snow Melts

After a pause, he continued, “Those two people from just then aren’t easy to deal with. Even if Shizun doesn’t want to stay at my place, I still hope that you will not go with them.”

It sounded as if this wasn’t the first time Luo Binghe had run into the two of them. Shen Qingqiu said, “Have you met them before?”

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Luo Binghe said indifferently, “I’ve met that snake at Nan Jiang before. We exchanged a few blows and I almost lost. I’ve never seen the other one before, but I cannot defeat him.”

Zhuzhi-Lang was born in Nan Jiang, so if someone ran around over there, they would naturally have to be a little more diligent. Tianlang-Jun also said before that the original purpose of the plague at Jinlan City was to resolve the food shortage at Nan Jiang. It was to be expected that Luo Binghe got in a few fights with Zhuzhi-Lang at Nan Jiang.

But Zhuzhi-Lang didn’t seem to have told Luo Binghe what his identity was and didn’t treat Luo Binghe as his young master. It didn’t look like Tianlang-Jun had any intention of telling him either.

Judging from this, neither father nor cousin had any intent to acknowledge him.

Even though Luo Binghe’s pace was steady, he was still limping very faintly. However, he continued to walk with a straight back, not even supporting himself with the wall. When Shen Qingqiu saw this, he was full of mixed feelings, and he awkwardly hesitated for a moment before he suddenly hardened his resolve and took a step forward. He was about to go support Luo Binghe when the candlelight suddenly flickered.

The tomb passage dimmed a little, and Luo Binghe’s body pressed towards him.

But this time, Luo Binghe didn’t forcefully hug him, nor did he grope around. Instead, he completely toppled onto Shen Qingqiu before he stopped moving at all.

After being tossed around for half a day, Shen Qingqiu was also feeling extremely exhausted. He couldn’t bear the weight of two people, and he fell against the wall with a thud. Luo Binghe was slumped on top of him, soft and boneless, and his head knocked against the wall, creating a resounding noise upon impact. When Shen Qingqiu heard that, his heart also jumped along with it, his teeth aching.

He hastily stood up straight and held Luo Binghe. After fumbling around for a bit, he managed to reach behind him. The clothes on Luo Binghe’s back, which had been drenched by the ghostly rain in the Hall of Sorrow, were tattered. He probed inside of his clothing. The skin underneath his fingers felt strange as if there were marks of festering. It had also already started to emit a fishy scent.

After all, the ghostly rain wasn’t anything good.

If nobody else was present, the way Shen Qingqiu liked to wake other people up was to first go up and give them a small slap on either side of their face. But now, he hadn’t even reached out a hand yet when he felt like he couldn’t do it, so as a result, he changed it to lightly patting Luo Binghe’s cheek a few times. His voice also involuntarily softened. “Luo Binghe? Luo Binghe?”

Luo Binghe’s eyes were closed heavily. His eyelashes didn’t even flutter, and the color of his face grew increasingly and abnormally red.

Shen Qingqiu reached out a hand and touched him. His forehead and cheeks were both scalding hot like he had a fever. But there was no way that the concept of a ‘fever’ would exist in Luo Binghe’s body. Even if there were times when he would occasionally find himself in tough situations, it wouldn’t last for very long, and it especially wouldn’t reach the point where he lost consciousness. Shen Qingqiu touched his hands, but they were ice cold. It was as if Luo Binghe’s head was in the microwave and his body was in the freezer.

Shen Qingqiu placed a hand behind Luo Binghe’s head and massaged the area that had just knocked against the wall.

“Binghe, can you hear me?”

No response.

Shen Qingqiu calculated a little. In order to protect his flesh body and not let it rot, Luo Binghe had used up several days’ worth of spiritual energy, and in the end he still hadn’t been able to protect it; he went through great pains running around blindly to catch Black Moon Rhinoceros Pythons; after arriving at the Holy Mausoleum, he was first beaten up by Tianlang-Jun, then attacked head-on by the sound waves in the Hall of Delight, continued to be beaten up by Tianlang-Jun, before he was finally drenched by the ghostly rain.

No matter how you thought about it, it should be much more serious than getting a fever.

After Luo Binghe passed out, his oppressive aura lost its ability to intimidate. The Blind Corpses that had shrunk into the darkness just then started to stir restlessly again, hissing as they surrounded them.

Shen Qingqiu held Luo Binghe, who had toppled over, with one hand, while he gripped the Xiu Ya sword with the other. With a violent shake, the sword flew out from its sheath like a flying arrow and immediately pierced through more than a dozen of them. However, the dazzling blade of the sword reflected light extremely intensely. When the green light from the Last Breath Candles reflected against the sword, it grew even harsher. The Blind Corpses were very skilled at chasing after the light and also dodged quickly, so if he tried the same thing again, it wouldn’t work. Shen Qingqiu had just sheathed his sword and returned it to his waist when several withered hands already reached near him. There was even one that stretched straight for Luo Binghe’s eyes. Shen Qingqiu sent out an explosive blow with his palm, making the insolent Blind Corpse’s head explode.

However, even though explosive blows were easy to use, he couldn’t use them constantly. It used up too much spiritual energy, and he would run out after a while. Moreover, Shen Qingqiu was back in the mode where he only had two bars’ worth of spiritual energy so he couldn’t be worry-free like he had been before. After sending out twenty or so blows, he started to feel weaker than he would’ve liked. The Blind Corpses pushed and shoved in the tomb passage, and he had no choice but to kick each one away as they came. Even though these monsters were low level, there was never an end to them, and he still had to hold onto an unconscious Luo Binghe. He stumbled once and momentarily failed to hold him steady, causing Luo Binghe’s head to knock against the wall once more.

The ‘bang’ sounded extremely painful. Troubled, Shen Qingqiu used his hand to cushion Luo Binghe’s head. He felt around again, and he couldn’t help but feel as if a large bump had swollen up. Shen Qingqiu better not knock this child’s head so hard that he ends up with brain problems, with this fever and being thrown around!

Small demons were troublesome. If they continued to stay in this tomb passage that was full of Last Breath Candles, they would only attract an unending stream of Blind Corpses. He changed positions and lifted one of Luo Binghe’s arms over his shoulder, hauling him forward with large strides. The Blind Corpses were flung several meters behind, but the Last Breath Candles continued to light up with his urgent breaths, illuminating their shadows so that there was nowhere to hide. Even though the Blind Corpses couldn’t catch up, he couldn’t shake them off either as they continued to pursue him and Luo Binghe relentlessly, all the way up until he turned a corner and passed a small tomb room.

This was most likely also a preparation room. The coffins inside were strewn about extremely messily, and the covers on some of them were even overturned onto the ground. It didn’t seem dignified or noble at all. Shen Qingqiu hastily dragged Luo Binghe inside, checking each one in turn. Some had dried corpses lying in strange positions inside, but there were also some that were completely empty.

The wheezing noises from outside the tomb room grew closer and closer, and the elongated and messy shadows on the floor intertwined chaotically. Shen Qingqiu saw that the situation was desperate and jumped inside a stone coffin. He originally wanted to stuff Luo Binghe inside a different coffin, but he didn’t have time for that anymore. Hugging Luo Binghe tightly, Shen Qingqiu flipped the two of them over and they tumbled simultaneously into a stone coffin.

Even though there was something soft cushioning the bottom, Shen Qingqiu still landed so hard that he saw stars. Luo Binghe was on top, Shen Qingqiu on the bottom. He was squashed heavily, and he nearly couldn’t catch his breath.

What did this child eat while growing up! He looked fairly skinny, so why was he so heavy!

Half of the coffin lid wasn’t sealed properly. Shen Qingqiu was about to reach out a hand to close it when the faint green light from outside swayed and numerous crooked shadows reflected against the ceiling.

The Blind Corpses had come inside.

They walked slowly into the tomb room. The occasional sound of light knocking floated over, as well as the noise made from sharp fingernails scratching across the surface of the stone coffins, making Shen Qingqiu’s blood run cold.

But if there was one place that Last Breath Candles absolutely wouldn’t be hidden in, it was in a coffin. As long as there wasn’t a source of light, these blind creatures wouldn’t be able to catch them.

Shen Qingqiu remained calm, lying on his back. Luo Binghe pressed down on top of him, face-down, his head buried in the hollow of Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder. The heat spread onto Shen Qingqiu’s neck, so hot that it was uncomfortable. Even he felt uncomfortable, so Luo Binghe must naturally be even more uncomfortable.

Luckily Luo Binghe’s hands were cold and his head was hot. He might as well use his own hand to lower the temperature of his forehead. Shen Qingqiu thought that this was a good idea, and he was about to grab Luo Binghe’s wrist and lift it up when his body suddenly stiffened.

Five withered, bony fingers with oddly long fingernails appeared above the coffin.

Why did they have to search so carefully and thoroughly! Weren’t the Blind Corpses supposed to have very low IQs! Didn’t they simply ignore everything that didn’t emit light!!!

Shen Qingqiu suddenly discovered that there actually was something emitting a faint red light next to his cheek.

He glanced to the side. Even though Luo Binghe’s eyes were closed, the Demonic Mark on his forehead had already materialized. The scarlet pattern on his forehead was currently brightening and fading in time with his breathing. The red light subsequently dimmed and glowed.

Even though he knew that this mark was the symbol of Luo Binghe’s bloodline, it didn’t have to shine so conspicuously, did it! Why did it look so similar to how Ultraman1 would start to flash light every time he reached the last critical moment while fighting a monster and didn’t have enough energy left!

He couldn’t free his hand to cover that disastrous mark. He subconsciously turned his head abruptly and pressed his lips against Luo Binghe’s bright and clean forehead.

It actually looked sort of like he was kissing Luo Binghe’s forehead. However, there was no need to care about such trivial details during unusual circumstances like this! Their lives were more important!

That withered and dried hand, with fingernails full of filth and several strands of hair wrapped around it, trembled as it slowly reached into the stone coffin, groping around. The space inside the coffin was narrow, but it was very deep. As long as the Blind Corpse continued to maintain this range while fumbling around, it still wouldn’t be able to touch the two people at the bottom.

But this hand didn’t retreat in the slightest. As its hand moved lower and lower, Shen Qingqiu grew tenser and tenser. It was about to touch Luo Binghe’s back when Shen Qingqiu gritted his teeth and extracted his right hand, which had almost gone numb, and pressed down on an area of Luo Binghe’s back that was still fairly intact.

With this push, Luo Binghe’s upper half pressed completely against him. Originally, there was still a small space between them, but now the two of them were basically one person, chest against chest, stomach against stomach.

The stomach should naturally be the human body’s softest area, but Luo Binghe’s abdomen jabbed terribly hard into Shen Qingqiu’s. The more he pressed down, the more he was convinced that Luo Binghe definitely had an eight pack. It was hard enough to kill someone.

Even though the hand stopped a hair away from Luo Binghe’s back, it changed direction instead and started moving to the side.

When Shen Qingqiu saw that it was about to touch Luo Binghe’s calf, he hardened his heart and parted his legs, allowing Luo Binghe’s left leg to land between his.

He had already compressed the space that they took up to its absolute minimum, he really couldn’t compress it any further!

The Blind Corpse shakily felt around for a long while. It didn’t touch anything, and it withdrew very slowly.

Shen Qingqiu only released a breath of relief when the Blind Corpses left the tomb room, grumbling with dissatisfaction, and the entire crowd wandered away.

Their position right now was truly too unseemly. If someone poked their head over and saw them, they would think that Shen Qingqiu was someone burning with desire for sure, holding onto Luo Binghe firmly without any intention of letting go like he was doing all he could to squeeze him into his embrace. He was about to support Luo Binghe and sit up when a voice suddenly resounded inside the tomb room.

“Relaxing so early, isn’t this really much too soon.”

The voice was elderly, its tone sneering. Shen Qingqiu immediately picked up the Xiu Ya sword and flipped over, pressing Luo Binghe beneath him. He sat up, holding his sword in front of him, full of wariness. “Who!”

The Blind Corpses had already long since gone far away. The tomb room was completely empty, full of nothing but ice cold stone coffins.

… don’t tell him it was another reanimated corpse from some coffin. He just checked━they were basically all dried corpses!

The voice spoke again. “If I don’t want you to see me, then you don’t have any hope of seeing me even if you overturn the entire Holy Mausoleum.”

When Shen Qingqiu heard that, he felt that this voice was very familiar. He had definitely heard it somewhere before, and not just once. With a flash of spiritual light, he sheathed his sword and said, “Since it’s just the Dream Demon Elder, there’s no need to put on a show.”

He had just finished speaking when an old man suddenly appeared in the middle of the room in luxurious clothing, his eyes like that of a hawk. He sat cross-legged on top of a coffin and looked down loftily at Shen Qingqiu. “You actually still remember me.”

Shen Qingqiu: “Since the Dream Demon Elder has appeared in front of me, then I must be dreaming right now.”

Before, the Dream Demon could only appear as a ball of black fog in the dreamscape, but now, he could transform into a human shape. It seemed like he had recovered quite well after borrowing Luo Binghe’s body. When Shen Qingqiu saw that the newcomer was an old gramps who would definitely stand on Luo Binghe’s side, he actually relaxed.

The Dream Demon sniffed. “However, the predicament that you two are in right now isn’t a dream.”

Shen Qingqiu: “Is it possible to request the Dream Demon Elder’s assistance in entering Luo Binghe’s dreamscape and waking him?”

The Dream Demon said, “I cannot wake him.”

“Ah?” Shen Qingqiu grew a little panicked and he nearly blurted out, “Why not!” Was Luo Binghe’s brain already damaged from the fever?

The Dream Demon said indifferently, “I can’t enter. This brat’s primordial spirit is currently in chaos. It’s completely blank with layers of heavy fog, and he’s fallen into a dream that he cannot wake from. I’ve only ever encountered this kind of situation in two types of people’s dreams before. One of them were those who were on the brink of death from serious illness.”

It seemed like he wasn’t about to say something good. But if the first kind was already on the brink of death from serious illness, the second kind couldn’t be even worse. Shen Qingqiu asked patiently, “Then the other type?”

“The intellectually disabled.”

“……”

The Dream Demon rambled, “Serves this brat right. In the past five years, he wastes his energy summoning the soul all day long and recklessly slaughters his own creations in his dreamscape at night. I’ve long since instructed him that doing so would be the same thing as destroying his own primordial spirit. Sooner or later, this day would come. In order to preserve your flesh Seed body during these past few days, he wasted his spiritual energy, and that demon sword was just waiting for an opportunity to revolt. What’s more, he forcefully broke into the Holy Mausoleum, and faced off directly against the most gifted descendant that the demon race has seen for generations.”

Shen Qingqiu gripped Xiu Ya sword so tightly that it hurt. He looked back at Luo Binghe, who was lying unconscious in the coffin, and said, “… Elder has no way of awakening him either?”

“I cannot do anything.”

Shen Qingqiu cupped his hands in respect towards him and laid silently back down in the coffin.

The Dream Demon lifted an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

Shen Qingqiu answered, “Sleeping. Until I wake up.”

The veins in the Dream Demon’s head bulged. “You dare to ignore me?”

Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes. “Since Elder already said that he cannot do anything, of course, I can only wait until I can wake up and safely send him out.”

The Dream Demon snorted. “My clan’s forbidden area, the Holy Mausoleum, is extremely dangerous. There are also two troublesome characters waiting for you. You alone cannot protect him.”

That was true, very true.

Shen Qingqiu opened his eyes and sighed. “But right now, besides me, his Shizun, who else can protect━or should I say, will protect Luo Binghe?”

Chaotic emotions came thick and fast. Shen Qingqiu’s thoughts were in turmoil, but he was very clear about one thing: no matter what, he couldn’t leave Luo Binghe to die here.

The Dream Demon said coldly, “After so many years, you’re finally willing to acknowledge once more that this brat is your disciple and that you are his Shizun?”

Shen Qingqiu: “It has indeed been a very long time.”

He was still waiting for the Dream Demon to continue ridiculing him mysteriously, but that old man suddenly gave a sigh. He said, “If this brat could wake up and hear what you just said, I wonder how happy he would be.”

Gramps, can you not talk so gloomily with every sentence!

Shen Qingqiu’s face was full of black lines. What did he mean, “if he could wake up”? This kind of uncertain-about-life-or-death tone just made him even more uneasy, okay!

The Dream Demon’s anger suddenly surged up, and he shouted loudly, “I’m clearly this brat’s Shifu, how many things have I taught him?! Ah?! The ability to know everything under the sky, the method to control people’s hearts! But he refuses to call me Shifu; all he ever says is ‘Elder,’ ‘Elder’! You’re just some average cultivator that taught him a few superficial fighting moves and one or two coarse mental cultivation methods, yet he chases after you crying and calling for Shizun! It’s infuriating!”

He had long since suppressed his anger, and now when he saw the two of them lying in the same coffin, he found the scene more and more offensive. His old eyes were about to go blind from it, and he was extremely unhappy, so he was very grouchy. Shen Qingqiu wasn’t happy either. He was irritated just from the Dream Demon calling Cang Qiong Mountain’s sword techniques superficial fighting moves. He was about to fight back when the Dream Demon started to walk back and forth across the coffin, hands behind his back, saying with agitation, “If I had secretly eliminated you back then in the dreamscape, this kind of incident wouldn’t have happened today. This brat was originally a talent with great prospects ahead of him, but the moment he met you he became this good-for-nothing that only makes people angry. He stubbornly continues to put on an act in front of you too, pretending not to feel anything! If it were up to me, he should either just kill you or do you. Putting up such a fuss, wavering in between━it really makes someone mad when they see it!!”

Shen Qingqiu really wanted to just cover his ears and seal the other’s mouth. He glanced at Luo Binghe’s peacefully sleeping face, and an image of Luo Binghe crying flashed across his mind briefly before he immediately looked away. He couldn’t help but say, “It isn’t very good to say this kind of thing in front of me, Elder, is it? Are you done scolding now? If you are, can you let me wake up?”

The Dream Demon still had grievances. “Wake up? Even if you wake up you don’t know how to get out. The entrance that he opened has already closed.”

Shen Qingqiu: “Why can’t I just open it again? May I please request that Elder tells me what direction to go in to get to where Luo Binghe broke through the barrier using the Black Moon Rhinoceros Pythons.”

His gaze landed on the Heart Devil sword at Luo Binghe’s waist. The entrance that had just been opened up would inevitably still be weak. If he used the Xin Mo sword to slice through it again, perhaps he could open it again once more. The Dream Demon followed his gaze. He clearly understood but wasn’t convinced. “This sword may not necessarily allow you to use it.”

Of course, Shen Qingqiu also knew this. He silently clenched his teeth and said heavily, “There’s no other choice. I still have to try.”

When he woke up, he was still lying in the stone coffin, and Luo Binghe was also still lying obediently on top of him, held tightly against him.

Thank heavens, that bothersome old Dream Demon spirit finally agreed to let him go. Shen Qingqiu was about to sit up in a single movement when his right leg suddenly seemed to brush against something that poked stiffly into his inner thigh.

Shen Qingqiu thought it was a sword hilt at first and absent-mindedly stretched out a hand to go push it aside. He had just touched it when the System’s announcement suddenly exploded:

【YOOOOOOO~~Cool points +1000┏(┏^q^)┓~ Congratulations for obtaining the achievement “Physical Relationship Development”!!!】

Immediately, Shen Qingqiu’s body also stiffened into a dried corpse.

“Physical Relationship Development”? The hell was that?

He looked down again. Only then did he find out that this “sword hilt” was truly something remarkable.

Sky pillar2 ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the sky pillar ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shen Qingqiu wanted to kill somebody and then kill himself!

After flailing around in confusion for a while, he slapped a hand against his face, comforting himself in his mind: there was no distinguishing between day or night in the Holy Mausoleum, so maybe it was morning outside right now?! It was a regular phenomenon, a regular physiological phenomenon!

It would go away on its own right?! Generally speaking, that’s how things worked!

But ignoring it like this also seemed too pitiful!!!

Even if it was pitiful, nothing could be done. It’s not like he could help him rub it in this kind of circumstance, right?!?!

If he pretended like he didn’t see it, he should be forgiven, right?!?!?!


Reika’s Notes:

  • This chapter is by Yan of BC Novels. (bcnovels d⊕† ς⊕m)
  • Another exciting chapter!!! OMG, someone got a stiffie!
  • I love how the Dream Demon was speaking like a grumpy old grandpa to Shen Qingqiu yet it seemed to me like he was actually trying to help.
  • I mean, telling Shen Qingqiu that Luo Binghe has always been pining after him and is just pretending to be all cold and unfeeling while inside he’s always crying after his Shizun… is it just me or is the Dream Demon not-so-subtly telling Shen Qingqiu to take responsibility for Luo Binghe?
  • Thanks for reading. 🙂


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  1. Ultraman is a Japanese science fiction TV series hero.
  2. 天柱 tian zhu – sky/heaven pillar.

84 thoughts on “Chapter 59 – The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System”

  1. I agree, Dream Demon is pushing SQQ to take responsibility & honor the reward LB wishes so passionately to bestow. He just needs a small spell to reinforce his butt to all-night poundings.

  2. The seme and uke has been determined now.
    Shen Qingqiu on the bottom, Luo Binghe on top.
    And that Blind Corpse who kept on pestering them from outside of the coffin was probably a secret fujoshi agent hired by the System.
    This is too cute now lol.

  3. that fckn “Sky pillar ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 😂😂😂😂😂

    thank you for y’alls hard work 💕

  4. SKY PILLAR!! SKY PILLAR!! _(:3 」∠)_
    ( ✌︎’q’)✌︎ LoL how did someone come up with the idea of comparing a Sky Pillar to that. Real talent.

  5. Thank you for the translation.
    This novel will kill me soon….
    Love this Chapter so much to the point I end up making comic of Tian Zu incident hehe

    Read them at IG @ t.l.vow

  6. thanks for the chapter!!!

    if only LB was awake he would burst with happiness, but hey, I hope that at least this will lead to a proper conversation!

  7. I feel this chapter was pretty much just pure fanservice…
    and I’m not complaining!!
    Hehehe… Shizun, time to take responsibility for your disciple! You’ve beaten him, now time to lick his wounds in time for the next round of training…..
    AAHAAAA but I screeched with the description of them in the coffin… the position, the “kiss” to the forehead, everything… and of course LBH’s cucumber…. Would they be able to grow a vegetable garden, I wonder, if the “cucumber” entered Cucumber? Well, there’s plenty of that to come hopefully..
    I really hope that somehow Binghe would find out about how sweet SQQ was to him while he was unconscious, because I could feel my heart melting…

    Speaking of which, SQQ seems to really enjoy climbing into coffins with people.

    Thank you for the update!! 🙂

  8. This chapter was waaay too funny. What SQQ has to go through to rescue LBH. He even has to embrace his student in an awkward postre. If LBH were to wake up then, he would be truly excited. And he even touched the sky pillar, hahaha.

    ‘Shen Qingqiu’s body also stiffened into a dried corpse’ That killed me. Hahaha.

    You’re right, the Dream Demon was too grumpy but he actually was helping LBH to get his Shizun’s heart. And he’s succeding!

    Thanks for the chapter! I got a good laugh every few paragraphs.

  9. Thank you so much for this chapter =D Shizun needs to wake up to Luo Binghe´s affection sooooon ;). I love those two adorable brats. Kudos to the Dream demon, wish I had a elderly relative this supportive.

  10. S C R E A M ok but he’s back at half-charged battery??? is it bc he’s back in the body that has Without a Cure in it?? can he get back to his fully charged state by…. curing himself… u know how….. HMMMM???????????? i want him to be able to fight again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hurry up and smash!!!!!!!! (jk take ur time i love the slow build hahahhaahahahahaa)

  11. Thank you for the update! GYAAHAHAHAH SKY PILLAR!!! The upgraded scenario pusher is really doing its job uwu good job System
    AHAHAHAHAH I wonder what dream LBH is having.
    Looking forward to the next update!

  12. “Sky pillar.” PFFTT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Well it could bring his Shizun to the 9th heaven so yep, LBH please wake up soon.

    Thank you for your efforts! I tried to stockpile but the temptation was too strong. ╮(╯∀╰)╭

  13. Oh my God, this is the chapter that keeps on giving! Thank you so much! I love how it’s so convenient that SQQ has to snuggle with LBH, that he’s protecting him, that he touched uh…the sky pillar. And also that he’s getting the actual low down on LBH’s poor maiden heart. And the “YOOOOOOOOOOO 1000 COOL POINTS” killed me!!!

  14. Oi! SQQ, why are you so confused in the last bit! What is there to be confused about!? Is the answer not obvious!?
    Also… what the hell is this ┏(┏^q^)┓???
    LMAO

  15. “【YOOOOOOO~~Cool points +1000┏(┏^q^)┓~ Congratulations for obtaining the achievement “Physical Relationship Development”!!!】”

    That damn system is so extra that i cant oksdnfojnsdjnfkods

  16. Hm….am I the only one who thinks that the Xin Mo sword is a yandere too?

    It would explain why LBH is having so much trouble with it because he thinks of his shizun a lot more than the game breaking sword.

    If that is the case, I wonder what would happen if SQQ tried to use the sword…

    Also, I’m kinda disappointed with the points system, that kiss got nothing, but brushing against LBH’s pillar when he was unconscious gets 1000 points??(unless he wasn’t totally out of it)

  17. He recieved so much points for just touching, LB’s cucumber!?

    It would probably be much more if they did the papapa….

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    I’m still waiting for that

    Thank you for the chapter!

  18. If I were that spiteful old demon I would totally tell LB everything that happened to him after he passed out HOHOHOHO hell… I would recreate it in his dream hahaha… HO HOHO HO HO! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MM_k1MZB4Ak

    But on a side note, I really thought that LB was faking passing out 😛 and lol wherever LB is hes still thinking about his Shizun hence that banana reaction HOHOHOHOHO!

    But really… SQQ… if LB is designed by that “Go die Airplane in the sky” then would that not mean that SQQ has to cater to a guy that is capable of papapaing multiple women in the triple digits per day and night? a guy with that kind of stamina and drive… will SQQ be able to stand it? he would need body reinforcing techniques all the time to cope!

    I mean just think about it… lets compare… Superman and Lois Lane… he is super powerful… even his hair is super strong, so can you imagine his banana and… banana… smoothy? It would come out like a bullet! there is no way that Lois would be able to handle that… absolutely impossible, she would end up in a morgue if they ever really did the deed, and he would more than likely need to wear kryptonite to papapa her… of course this might kill him…

    I feel SQQ will be in danger of the same thing, it does not matter that SQQ is a powerful cultivator… compared to LB he is a toddler!! LB will simply have to restrain his urges! Don’t put new holes in Shizun!!! Don’t be a Jackhammer!

    1. Power gap between Lois lane and Superman is orders of magnitude greater than power difference between SQQ and LBH.

      Not to mention, LBH is a lot more emotionally involved with SQQ than his harem, pretty sure he’ll stop before he makes his shizun run away. Also, I’m sure dual cultivating couples have techniques to strengthen each other.

      This couple is a lot more balanced than Lois Lane and Superman!

      Although, they would have been more balanced if SQQ still had his other body…

    2. If you have a character who can satisfy 3000 women, I would be shit scared of that banana focusing only on me…

      When LB is starved for love… who knows what flood gates opening will unleash upon our MC.. LB might binge eat his Shizun!

    3. I don’t actually think SQQ’s that weak compared to Binghe.. sure, there’s a difference, but he’s still one of the top sect’s top cultivators, and compared to the sisters in the original, is no doubt much stronger… of course, they had the benefit of not having to bear all of that alone – just a hundredth or so of it, but also remembering that this isn’t the original – we can clearly see how much LBH cares for SQQ, so I feel like he’d hold back quite a lot.. but in general, Binghe here seems very different from the original Luo Binghe described in Airplane’s novel.

      Still, in preparation for that event we’ll just have to keep lighting candles for our poor dead Cucumber Bro…

    4. Did you miss the part where the original SQQ was made into a human stick…

      They didn’t mention anything about the poison either… was inactive due to his death? or is he still poisoned waiting for LB to cure it with some banana action? he got a big nerf when he got put back into his original body…

  19. I’ve finally caught up after binging!! Thank you so much for translating 😍🥰😘 also I totally lost it at the point systems emoji, it’s starting to seem very fujoshi-ish haha sky pillar 😂

  20. The sky pillar has awaken!!! Lmao dream demon grandpa is so funny. Grumbling about how his student won’t even acknowledge him as his teacher but is incredibly thirsty for SQ.

  21. I really like the Dream Demon. He’s a grandpa that lacks affection from his granddaughter that totally focusing on how to appease (later seduce) her (his) crush (Shizun). And of course, for the sweet, feminine granddaughter that learn all the necessary skills (especially cooking) by referencing on ‘How to be a Virtuous Wife for Dummies’ had her (his) efforts wasted on such an oblivious guy.
    To be honest, I always thought cultivators (the cannon fodders in general, not limited to this story) lacks some IQ, but then again, for them (even the demons) to know (and believe) about the tragic love(?) story between a shizun and his disciple really make me respect (a bit) for those unknown (unnamed) cultivators.
    And yes, even if he lacks affection (and respect) from the grand daughter, he still sincerely(?) worried about Binghe these past years. I like to think of him as one of the reason (no matter how small his influence is) that helps Binghe to retain his sanity while waiting for Shizun to awake.
    Thanks for the chapter!

  22. Muchas gravias por la traduccion de la novela.
    Mori de risa cuando zishun toco casualmente el pilar jajajajjajaj. Y si a mi mi tambien me da esa impresion. Ese demonio quiere que sea feliz su aprendis jajajajjaja y sabe que la unica forma de lograrlo es que su zishun tome la responsabilidad jajajajaaja

  23. That 8-packed abs got me. Haha. A sword hilt, and whose sword would that be? The ending is very funny. This chapter has so much positive feels. LBH, wake up! And gramps, being grumpy and all, but in the end, he is still rooting for LBh and SQQ. Lol! Isn’t it tantamount to exposing LBH’s secret? :)

    Thanks for the update!

  24. earlier i couldn’t get in. bandwidth issue?
    thanks for the new chapter. Idk man i saw some comments saying Meng Mo was trying to help LBH by telling SQQ about his non stop pining but i think SQQ still needs more help than that? so maybe
    Small scenario pusher Deluxe Edition, your time has come!

  25. I love the dream demon elder now. Can he become a daddy? 😍😍😍😍😍 he’s clearly shipping Bingqiu.
    “Either he kills you or do you” oh god 😆😆😆😆😆

    1. They are already in a coffin sooooo…kissing him, Snow White-style?

      Or maybe there should be an option menu:
      1. Snow White kiss
      2. rub it!
      3. hit him

      Your choice will determine the direction of your future romance.  ̄ω ̄

  26. I wonder what’s Shizun’s inner demons. The only one I could think of is the fear of being screwed over (the human stick one, not…yeah)

    Thanks for the chapter!!!

    1. The other’s also a legitimate fear of SQQ I would imagine, seeing as Binghe is inexperienced and a little too enthousiast AND very well endowed.

  27. Haaaahh…
    Poor Dream Demon, never ackmacknowl by Binghe.
    I can actually imagine him throwing all of his frustration towards SQQ.
    I understand him.
    But as you did say, he does care about Binghe.
    Good thing SQQ doesn’t give up so soon.
    And that sky pillar….
    Too bad the situation is not supporting or else we may have some pa pa pa going on 😋

    Thanks for the update ❤️

    1. I forsee some action will SQQ help LBH treat the sky pillar?😆

      Well posibility is not zero. Afterall elder dream demon says his in coma and can not wake up.
      SQQ character wouldnt want his disciple suffer from the sky pillar….😛😛😛
      the boys says once it stand up its painful without release 😉😉😉😉

      Waiting for the action in next chapter.

  28. “Luo Binghe was on top, Shen Qingqiu on the bottom.”
    -Oh. Yes. SQQ. That’s how you should eat tofu.
    And, that forehead kiss!!!
    That 8 pack abs!!!!
    That naughty, naughty position!!!!
    Kyaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!
    \(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥\(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥
    \(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥\(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥
    💞😋💞😋💞😋💞😋
    That demon Elder is so tired eating dog food that Binghe puts out!
    Thanks for the meal, reika and co.
    😋🙏😋🙏😋🙏😋🙏😋

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