Chapter 3 – Being an Author is a High Risk Occupation

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As a gay man, it was his dream to fantasize about becoming the world’s number one zonggong¹, to pass through a field of a thousand flowers without a single petal clinging to him,² and finally, when his career was successful and he was ready to settle down, to find the perfect shou.³

But for a die-hard otaku like him, this was just a dream, something to think about.

And so, he poured all of his dreams into his novel, dedicating it to the vast community of fujoshi⁴ around the world.

Fantasizing is not a crime!!

It’s just that he’d never considered the possibility of being blown into his own novel by a bomb.

Why was he so unlucky…

The truly unlucky man,⁵ Pei Bufan, turned his little cat face and licked the chin of the melancholic-looking Ziche Duanyuan.

It’s not like I’m taking advantage of him!⁶

Ziche Duanyuan let out a low laugh. So he didn’t get a high-level spirit beast; a little cat wasn’t so bad. At least he was no longer alone.

“If only you could talk,” Ziche Duanyuan said softly. “Then you could chat with me.” After experiencing a tragic past life, he had been all alone until the day he died. But now, having a living creature labeled ‘Property of Ziche Duanyuan’ by his side filled him with a joy that came from the bottom of his heart.

Pei Bufan wanted to cry but had no tears. This was what he hoped for, too. He was also frustrated that he could only let out little meows when he wanted to speak.

“Today, that guy said he’s going to the Taixu Secret Realm to find a Vermilion Fruit, to prove his strength and his feelings for me.” Ziche Duanyuan rubbed Pei Bufan’s ears and whispered, “Let’s follow him secretly. Are you scared?”

Pei Bufan shivered, turned his head, and bolted, trying to escape Ziche Duanyuan’s embrace. Scared? How could he not be scared? In that secret realm, Ziche Duanyuan encountered a huge boss and almost died! He was saved by the Netherworld Bird, which allowed the male lead to live to meet the first shou of his life!

Holy shit! He’d forgotten about that part. Was he now taking the place of the Netherworld Bird?!

What to do? Is the male lead going to kick the bucket?

[Mission: Please have the Host follow the Male Lead into the Taixu Secret Realm
Completion Reward: 1000 EXP, 10 Gold Coins, Cute Meow-Meow Bell Collar 1/4
Failure Penalty: Obliteration]

Seeing the little kitten first try to flee after he spoke, only to suddenly turn back with an expression of someone ready to die for a cause,⁷ desperately clawing at his sleeve with a foolish look that said ‘You can’t abandon me, I’m going wherever you go,’ Ziche Duanyuan was speechless. “…”

This Firewood Cat had a rather bizarre personality.

Could it be that it wasn’t supposed to have been born then, but was accidentally knocked out of its egg by him? And so its brain wasn’t working quite right.

Pei Bufan, whose intelligence was now being questioned by the male lead, was busy lighting a candle for his short cat life…⁸

If he could transmigrate back, the first thing he’d do is finish his abandoned novel!

The groups of people you absolutely cannot afford to offend in this world are readers and fans!!

The second is a woman on her period!!⁹ (Something’s not right here?)

A commotion was heard from outside. Pei Bufan’s small body, which had been lying on the bed, levitated into the air and landed in the male lead’s arms. Ziche Duanyuan frowned and walked out, holding the little black cat.

“What is it now?” he asked, his voice laced with impatience.

A plainly dressed maid with a Qi Refinement cultivation base walked over and draped a large coat over Ziche Duanyuan. Although cultivators weren’t afraid of the cold, sometimes, as a scion of a great family, one had to keep up appearances.

Wrapped in a fiery red fox-fur coat, even the most vulgar person would instantly look noble, amirite?!¹⁰ Not to mention the male lead of a rebirth novel! His aura was absolutely one in a million!

Before the maid could answer, the man pushed past the attendants’ blockade and ran over, stumbling in front of Ziche Duanyuan with a face full of anxiety and grievance. “Duanyuan, what’s wrong? Did I make you angry when I said I liked you? But… no matter what you think of me, my feelings for you! Are genuine!”

If Pei Bufan, as the author, wasn’t so clear on the character he had designed, he might have actually believed the man’s act. Even the maid standing to the side was visibly moved.

Ziche Duanyuan didn’t look him in the eye, only saying in a low voice, “Let’s talk after you’ve retrieved the Vermilion Fruit.” His calm face betrayed no emotion.

In his past life, he had given the man the same answer, but his mentality now was completely different from back then.

Zhong Yanqing broke into a happy smile. “Okay! You have to wait for me! I’ll become a worthy partner!” With that, he quickly ran off.

The maid looked at Ziche Duanyuan with envy. If she had a lover like that, this life would be enough.

Ziche Duanyuan noticed the maid’s expression and sneered internally.

In his last life, Zhong Yanqing had also won the support of everyone in the clan. They all envied him for getting such a wonderful lover. But they didn’t know…

Last life, last life!

His blood and qi churning, Ziche Duanyuan realized his Dao Heart was becoming unstable. He hurriedly went inside to sit in meditation.

He was already at the mid-stage of Foundation Establishment, though still far from Golden Core. But given his current state, he would likely suffer from heart demons when he tried to form his core. This rebirth was his greatest fortune, and he had to make good use of this life. He didn’t just want to ascend to immortality; he wanted to become a god! Zhong Yanqing must not become his obstacle again.

He had to find a chance to get rid of him!

Unfortunately, that scumbag was currently wearing a mask of false kindness and had the trust of his parents and clansmen. He couldn’t openly attack him. And he himself had only been reborn for a few days; his arrogant and rude personality was still deeply ingrained in everyone’s minds.

He wasn’t in a hurry. He had plenty of patience. The people who had tortured him to death in his previous life, he would repay them, slowly!

Pei Bufan cowered in a corner of the room, trembling as he watched the male lead’s meditating figure. He didn’t know why, but he felt a terrifying aura coming from the male lead, like a ferocious wild wolf that would tear him to shreds if he got too close. Was this the innate animal instinct of this body?

So scary, Mama, I wanna go home QAQ.

The next day, the little black cat Pei Bufan was packed up by the male lead and taken to the Lower Realm.

Most of the so-called secret realms were either cave residences left behind by powerful predecessors, small independent worlds they had created, or uncanny marvels of nature. They were often filled with numerous cultivation manuals, rare herbs hundreds of years old, pill formulas, artifact-refining books, and even rare beast eggs.

Among these, the most common yet least valuable items were probably the rare beast eggs.

Because of the rampant ‘interbreeding’ between demonic beasts, spirit beasts, and divine beasts, pure-blooded rare beast eggs were almost nonexistent. Furthermore, since the eggs varied in size, shape, and pattern, it was impossible to tell what species would hatch from them.

Buying a rare beast egg was like stone gambling.¹¹

You might spend a fortune on what looks like a promising egg of a high-level spirit beast, only for a useless, purely ornamental creature to hatch. Or you might pick up a battered old egg and have a divine beast pop out.

A little Firewood Cat like Pei Bufan was only good for playing with female cultivators and acting cute.

The Netherworld Bird from the original novel, however, was a high-level spirit beast that could speak human language and possessed incredible intelligence. It was of the dark attribute and had extremely high attack power.

The difference between the two was like heaven and earth.

What’s the use of knowing the walkthrough if you don’t have the right items?

The male lead is in trouble. Available pet skills: Roll Over, Expose Belly, Meow…

(╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

Why am I a useless cat!

He would have gladly condescended to become a bird to help the male lead through this crisis. In terms of sacrificing his dignity, it wasn’t much different from becoming a black cat (:з」∠).

It was a total ‘might as well’ moment!¹²

Recalling how the Netherworld Bird in the original novel had, upon seeing the male lead in danger, gathered its spiritual energy and spat out a huge dark-attribute flame, Pei Bufan tried to imitate it. He held his breath for a long time, and then spat out… a bubble…

The male lead disgustedly took out a handkerchief and wiped Pei Bufan’s little cat mouth.

Pei Bufan: …How the hell am I supposed to play this game?? System, get out here!!¹³

System: …

********

Author’s Note:

The main character is in trouble! Go! Black Kitty! (Throws a Poké Ball)

Available Pet Skills:

• Roll Over
• Show Belly
• Meow

Using skill: Roll Over. This skill has no effect on the BOSS.
The BOSS uses its Lethal Move!
The main character’s party is wiped out…

********

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Reika’s Notes:

• I’m starting to see that this is one of those types of stories that have a lot of slang, and, therefore, a ton of footnotes!
• This text was translated by Kotori Translates, and given to BC Novels to publish.
• I helped with the footnotes, formatting, grammar, etc., the usual stuff that is needed to post this on the website.
• Please let me know if there are any errors. Thanks for reading!

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1. A Danmei/BL fandom term for a character who is always the dominant partner in all of his relationships
2. 万花丛中过片叶不沾身 –  a line from a classical poem. It’s an idiom used to describe someone who has many lovers or romantic encounters but remains emotionally unattached or doesn’t commit.
3. 受is the Danmei/BL fandom term for the “bottom” or “uke” (the receptive partner) in a male-male relationship. It is the counterpart to gong (攻), the “top” or “seme.”
4. 腐妹子 – the Chinese term for the Japanese “fujoshi,” meaning “rotten girl.” It refers to female fans of media that features male-male romance (Danmei/BL).
5. The original format 真·衰男·裴不凡 (zhēn·shuāi nán·Péi Bùfán) is a popular internet meme structure used for emphasis, literally “True · Unlucky Man · Pei Bufan.”
6. The original idiom is 吃豆腐 (chī dòufu), literally “to eat tofu.” It’s a common slang term for taking advantage of someone, usually in a flirtatious or mildly inappropriate physical way.
7. The original idiom is 视死如归 (shì sǐ rú guī), meaning to face death as if going home; to face death with courage.
8. 点蜡 (diǎn là), literally “to light a candle,” is internet slang for mourning someone or praying for them, similar to “RIP” or “thoughts and prayers.”
9. 大姨妈 (dà yímā), literally “great aunt,” is a very common euphemism in Chinese for a woman’s menstrual period.
10. 有木有 (yǒu mù yǒu) is a popular internet slang phrase, a stylized pronunciation of 有没有 (yǒu méi yǒu), which means “right?!” or “isn’t there?!” It is used for emphasis, similar to adding “amirite?!” at the end of a sentence.
11. Stone gambling (赌石 dǔ shí) is a practice, especially common with jade, where one buys an uncut stone based on its outward appearance, hoping it contains a high-value gem inside. It’s a high-risk, high-reward venture.
12. The original idiom is 破罐破摔 (pò guàn pò shuāi), literally “smashing a cracked pot.” It means to give up and act recklessly since the situation is already bad, akin to saying “in for a penny, in for a pound” or “might as well.”
13. 粗来 (cū lái) is a cutesy, online way of writing 出来 (chūlái), which means “come out.” It conveys a sense of childish pouting or whining.