Chapter 2 – Being an Author is a High Risk Occupation

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When he opened the Novice Helper, Pei Bufan’s whole cat-self was unwell.¹

The Novice Helper detailed the main quest rewards and the general background of this world.

The setting was all too familiar.

This was a rebirth, revenge, cultivation, Danmei² novel!!

The male lead had a prospective Dao companion,³ but that prospective partner was a scumbag⁴ who kicked the male lead to the curb for a woman and even stole his fortune. In truth, the male lead’s prospective partner had always liked women and only got with the male lead to get his hands on his family’s resources. But the bad luck didn’t stop there. The woman the scumbag found was also a piece of work. She clung to the resources that should have belonged to the male lead while acting all high and mighty, despising the male lead for his orientation. She claimed it was disgusting that her man had once been with the male lead and secretly plotted his demise.

He had died a truly miserable death!

Although he was later reborn and began his path of tormenting the scumbags…

All in all, this was a very cliché rebirth and revenge novel, filled with dog blood.⁵

The problem was… he was the one who wrote this novel!

And what’s more, he had abandoned it!⁶

The male lead must never find out!

The main quest the system gave him was to follow the plot to its conclusion and achieve a HE—a Happy Ending.

So the reason he transmigrated was definitely because he abandoned this novel!

To be honest, he’d abandoned quite a few novels, but the one he abandoned the worst, the one that drew the most tragic cries from readers, was this satisfying revenge story.⁷

As for why a man like him was writing Danmei, of course it was because his orientation was the same as the male lead’s. He had no feelings for women, but upon seeing a man’s naked body…

Ahem, it cannot be said.⁸

Sigh… these days, readers were getting more and more vicious.

Did he really push a reader so far that they started sending real bombs to his house…?

This thing was way more expensive than that bomb.

It seems my readers truly loved my novel, but truly hated me, the author…

Has being an author become a high-risk profession now?

If he had known earlier, he would have changed careers!

It’s not like typing⁹ was the only work-from-home job; he could have strung beaded flowers!!¹⁰

Unfortunately, there was no “knowing earlier.”

But the final reward was pretty good: he could make one wish, with no limits on the content.

His wish, of course, was to go home and be a human again, not a little black cat!

Pei Bufan licked his paw while lying on the bed, and then, his whole body stiffened.

These animal instincts were a little too strong!

He buried his face in his paws, too ashamed to be seen.

Ziche Duanyuan returned from outside and saw the little Firewood Cat’s silly posture. Unexpectedly, it was quite cute.

A soft spot deep in his heart was poked. Ziche Duanyuan bent down and scooped the little kitten into his arms. It was so small and soft.

Pei Bufan’s small body had been rigid from the moment Ziche Duanyuan touched him. Only after realizing he wasn’t going to do anything did he slowly relax and find a comfortable position to lie down in, his little tail flicking back and forth.

Ziche Duanyuan smiled, playfully catching and pinching his little tail. “Since you’re with me now, you’re my cat. If you follow the wrong master and run away…” His voice lowered, carrying a hint of danger, “…I’ll skin you alive.”

…Holy shit! Was the male lead he wrote really this vicious??

“As long as you don’t betray me, I’ll take good care of you.” Ziche Duanyuan’s fingers pinched one of Pei Bufan’s hind paws, flipping the kitten over. He prodded the area below its little belly with two fingers and finally nodded. “It’s a male.”

Pei Bufan was completely stunned. This—this—this hooligan!! He abruptly flipped back over, scrambled out of Ziche Duanyuan’s arms, and retreated to the farthest corner of the bed, trembling as he bit the bedsheet.

Was it frightened? Ziche Duanyuan wondered.

Well, since he knew the little one’s gender, it was time to give it a name.

Looking at Pei Bufan’s body curled into a ball, Ziche Duanyuan said, “Then I’ll call you Yuan.”¹¹ It was fitting, and also a homophone for the last character of his own name. Ziche Duanyuan was very satisfied. He leaned over and reached out, just about to grab the kitten’s hind paw, when he heard a maid’s voice from outside. “Young Master, Young Master Zhong is here.”

The faint smile on Ziche Duanyuan’s face instantly turned ashen. His chest heaved violently. Swallowing the words “I’m not seeing him,” he turned and left.

Only then did Pei Bufan cautiously poke his head out. Seeing that the hooligan male lead had really left, he let out a huge sigh of relief.

He wasn’t trembling earlier, nor was he hiding here out of fear. It was excitement, and shyness.

Although he had been suddenly touched there, to be touched by such a handsome male lead… Pei Bufan shamelessly admitted that he wasn’t angry at all.

For a man with his orientation, this reaction was like a straight man being suddenly touched by a beautiful, goddess-level woman… Besides being arousing, it wouldn’t provoke any ill feelings.

Unfortunately… he was now a kitten, and a baby one at that.

The spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak.¹²

Even if he had the strength, he didn’t have the guts.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t still be a virgin in his twenties, too scared to even go to a certain type of special bar.

He pulled up the system’s mission panel. Sure enough, he saw that the previous mission was complete. In his small inventory was a blue ribbon labeled ‘Cute Meow-Meow Bell Collar 1/4’. Did he have to collect materials to synthesize it?

There was no way he was going to craft such a god-awful thing!

…Even if—even if it had stat bonuses, he wouldn’t!

Ziche Duanyuan returned in an even worse mood. The moment he entered the room, he saw Pei Bufan rolling around on the bed. An evil thought sprouted in his heart. He walked over and pressed down on the little exposed belly of the kitten, who was lying sprawled on its back, preventing it from flipping over.

Pei Bufan was dumbfounded. He wriggled, but the male lead didn’t let go. He wriggled again. The male lead’s hand loosened a fraction, but still didn’t let go.

Even if it was the male lead, the handsome male lead, he couldn’t torment a person… torment a cat like this!

After glaring at the male lead for a long time, Pei Bufan gave in. He let out a few soft, whimpering meows, and the male lead finally released him, scooping him into his arms to soothe him.

He had just gone to see Zhong Yanqing, his future Dao companion.

The Cultivation World was divided into the Upper Realm, the Middle Realm, and the Lower Realm.

The Lower Realm was the lowest-ranking place, home to only ordinary people and unaffiliated cultivators. Both spiritual and demonic qi were scarce there, and neither cultivators nor demonic practitioners were willing to stay for long.

The Middle Realm was the domain of cultivators and established cultivator clans, and it was also where Ziche Duanyuan was born.

The Upper Realm was the Immortal Realm, a place where those who had ascended to immortality and those born as immortals resided. Above that was the God Realm. One could not reach this realm without achieving sainthood, and communication between the God Realm and the three lower realms was nearly impossible. Attaining godhood was exceptionally difficult, making the God Realm almost a myth to the realms below.

Just as people strive for greater heights and water flows downwards, cultivators from the Lower Realm wanted to squeeze into the Middle Realm, while cultivators in the Middle Realm desperately consolidated their cultivation, hoping to ascend to the Upper Realm.

Zhong Yanqing was no exception. Born in the Lower Realm, he had stumbled upon the threshold of cultivation after receiving an inheritance from an old cultivator nearing the end of his life. His own aptitude was excellent, and coupled with his diligence and hard work, he successfully transformed from a lowly beggar, looked down upon even by ordinary people, into a cultivator whom others looked up to. Later, he had a chance encounter with Ziche Duanyuan’s father, who was visiting the Lower Realm, and successfully latched onto the Ziche family, gaining entry into the Middle Realm.

Cultivators go against the heavens, so conceiving offspring is naturally more difficult. It was especially hard for a couple who were both cultivators to have a child; they might not be blessed with one even after a thousand years.

Those who stepped onto the path of cultivation could only become pillars of their clans, but could rarely pass down their bloodline.

Ziche Duanyuan was an exception. His parents were both cultivators, yet they gave birth to him, a child with a single spiritual root.¹³

It was only natural that he became the most favored child in the family.

However, this also nurtured the proud, arrogant, and worldly-ignorant personality he had in his previous life.

Ziche Duanyuan’s good mood, which had been lifted by Pei Bufan, began to sour again.

That man probably saw how easy he was to deceive and pretended to be interested in him, pursuing him relentlessly.

After all, his orientation had never been a secret.

In the Cultivation World, relationships between two men or two women were very common. With their long lifespans and no need to continue a bloodline, cultivators often lived more freely.

“You’re really carefree, aren’t you,” Ziche Duanyuan chuckled, watching the little kitten gently nibbling on his finger. The kitten’s teeth hadn’t grown in yet, and its pink gums felt soft to the touch.

Today, that Zhong Yanqing had confessed to him.

It was right at this time. The other party, who had maintained an ambiguous attitude, suddenly said he wanted to be his partner and was going to a secret realm to prove his strength.

This was how he had fallen for him in his past life. Seeing Zhong Yanqing return half-dead, all to pick a stalk of Vermilion Fruit, which represented eternal love, for him—how could his heart not be moved?

Speaking of which, this Zhong Yanqing was truly lucky. No matter where he went or what he bought, he would always stumble upon treasures.

When he returned from the secret realm, he had managed to get a lot of good stuff besides that Vermilion Fruit. He had lost half his life because of those other treasures, yet he hid them from him. It was only later that the woman told him…

But in this life, all those good things would belong to him.

However, looking at the little cat in his hand—the Netherworld Bird that should have belonged to Zhong Yanqing had turned into a Firewood Cat in his hands. He suddenly lost some of his confidence.

“Perhaps I’m not a child favored by the heavens,” Ziche Duanyuan sighed.

Pei Bufan let out a whimper. If you’re not, who is!

After being reborn and kicking the scumbag to the curb, Ziche Duanyuan would find opportunities and romantic interests everywhere. He would conquer the Middle Realm after the Lower Realm, then go on to conquer the Upper Realm, and finally hook up with the God Realm’s final boss.

Of course, he had abandoned the story after the Upper Realm part began, and the plot for the God Realm only existed as a rough outline in his head.

Ziche Duanyuan was, after all, the ultimate zonggong he had ever written!¹⁴

********

Author’s Note:

Thank you to my little angels for the 2 Bawang Tickets:

A Bowl of Fish Soup
Lord Long Live Noodles

Creator God: Found a good story, bookmarked!
Creator God: The MC’s past life was so tragic. It’s so satisfying watching him get revenge on the scumbags after he was reborn. Thumbs up!
Creator God: That little shou in the Lower Realm was no good, way too snobbish. He deserved to be dumped! Here, have a “bomb”!
Creator God: That shou in the Middle Realm was so cute, why did you get rid of him?! Negative review!!
Creator God: He’s finally become an immortal, but the MC’s fated one still hasn’t shown up? Update faster!!
Creator God: WTF!! No update today!!
Creator God: WTFFF! Still no update!!
Creator God: …Where’s the author?! Get out here and update!!
Creator God: …………World construction is complete. You, go send this one over there. Stare at him while he writes—no, make him live through this story to the end!! (gritting teeth)

System: Dear, your package has arrived. Please sign for it.
Pei Bufan: Oh.

A friend once told me: Never underestimate any of your readers, and more importantly, never start a story you don’t intend to finish. Otherwise, one day, you will face retribution!
I have taken this lesson to heart!

Translator’s Notes

• This author’s note sets up the premise of the story: A “Creator God” (a frustrated reader) becomes so angry at the author for not updating that they send the main character, Pei Bufan, into the story’s world with a “System” to force the plot to its conclusion.
• Little Angels (小天使): An affectionate term Chinese web novel authors use for their readers.
• Bawang Ticket (霸王票) & Bomb (炸弹): Types of virtual gifts on the Jinjiang platform that readers can buy to support authors. A “bomb” is typically a more expensive gift.
• MC (猪脚): The original text uses “猪脚” (zhūjiǎo – pig’s feet), which is a common, playful pun on “主角” (zhǔjiǎo – main character).
• Shou (受): The “receiver” or “bottom” in a BL relationship.
• To start a story you don’t intend to finish (挖坑不埋): Literally “to dig a pit and not fill it in.” This is a very common slang phrase in online writing communities for abandoning a story or leaving major plot holes unresolved.

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Reika’s Notes:

• I’m editing a bunch of chapters, so there might be more errors than usual since there’s a lot of work.
• Not complaining though since more is better when it comes to chapters.
• This text was translated by Kotori Translates, and given to BC Novels to publish.
• I helped with the footnotes, formatting, grammar, etc., the usual stuff that is needed to post this on the website.
• Please let me know if there are any errors. Thanks for reading!

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1. This is a play on the internet slang phrase 我整个人都不好了 (wǒ zhěnggè rén dōu bù hǎole), meaning “I’m not okay” or “My whole being is in shock/disarray.” The text swaps “person” (人) for “cat” (喵) to fit the protagonist’s new form, conveying a sense of comedic despair.
2. Danmei (耽美) is a Chinese genre of literature and other fictional media that features romantic relationships between male characters. It is the equivalent of Boys’ Love (BL) in Japan.
3. A Dao companion (道侣 dàolǚ) is a term from cultivation novels for a lifelong partner, a spouse on the path of cultivation. Their bond is often both romantic and spiritual.
4. The original word is 渣 (zhā), a very common internet slang term for a terrible, morally bankrupt person, often used to describe unfaithful or manipulative partners.
5. Dog blood (狗血 gǒuxuè) is a popular slang term for plot points that are overly dramatic, cliché, melodramatic, or outrageous.
6. The original term is 坑了 (kēng le), literally “pitted it.” It’s internet slang for an author abandoning a story without finishing it, leaving readers waiting indefinitely in the “pit.”
7. A “satisfying story” or “cool novel” (爽文 shuǎng wén) is a genre focused on wish fulfillment, where the protagonist easily overcomes obstacles and gets satisfying revenge, providing a cathartic experience for the reader.
8. 不可说 (bùkě shuō) is a common phrase meaning “unspeakable” or “it cannot be said,” often used coyly to hint at something taboo or private.
9. 码字 (mǎ zì), literally “piling up words,” is slang for the act of writing, especially for online authors who need to produce a high word count.
10. 穿珠花 (chuān zhū huā), literally “stringing beaded flowers,” refers to a simple, low-skill piece-rate job, used here to express regret for choosing a “high-risk” profession like writing over something simple and safe.
11. The cat’s new name is 圆 (Yuán), which means “round” or “circular,” fitting his curled-up shape. It’s also a homophone for the second character in the male lead’s given name, 缘 (Yuán), which means “fate” or “destiny.” This kind of wordplay is common in Chinese names and literature.
12. The original idiom is 有心无力 (yǒu xīn wú lì), meaning to have the desire to do something but not the ability or strength.
13. A single spiritual root (单灵根 dān líng gēn) is a sign of immense, pure talent for cultivation in many xianxia/xuanhuan novels. Most people have mixed spiritual roots, which makes cultivation slower and more difficult.
14. 总攻 (zǒng gōng) is a term from Danmei/BL fandom. It literally translates to “general top/seme.” It refers to a character who is exclusively the “top” or “seme” (the dominant/pursuing partner) in any and all of his romantic or sexual relationships, regardless of who his partner is. It denotes ultimate dominance and is a popular character archetype.