Chapter 89 – The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Previous Chapter      Table of Contents      Next Chapter

Extra: Airplane’s Fortuitous Encounter Part 2

This chapter is Part 2. Part 1 is here.

This translation is by Lily (BC Novels) at bcnovels d͎o͎t͎ c͎o͎m͎


“What are you thinking about, fool! Still not going to work!”

Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky-juju spat out the green foxtail hanging from his mouth with a “pah!”

He mentally waved a thousand middle fingers and yelled a thousand words beginning with F at this fiendish An Ding Peak shixiong, then turned around with a flowery smile, hardening his face to flounce up to him. “Coming!”

X-shixiong spat, “Hey! This servant only knows how to slack off!”

Shang Qinghua, physically a seventeen-year-old senior outer disciple, trailed behind the main forces to unload the goods from the ship onto the docks, looking around in all directions.

That’s right, Airplane-juju could now be called Shang Qinghua.

He had written this wretched vile character in his stallion novel with his own hands. The treacherous spy, the one who assiduously worked an outside job for Mobei-Jun all his life, only to be thrown away by his cold-hearted and unfeeling boss as soon as he was done with him. That cannon fodder, logistics manager, Shang Qinghua.

No, at this time, he was still an outer disciple that could be pushed around by everyone on An Ding Peak. Not yet head disciple, he hadn’t changed his name to enter the Qing generation.

An Ding Peak, in itself, was a very suffocating sort of peak.

The An Ding Peak Lord was like the director of the housekeeping service center, suffocating; even when leading disciples he was like an unpaid hourly worker, also suffocating; the outer disciples especially didn’t bear mention. They were at the lowest end of the food chain, the most suffocated of the suffocated. Everyone had large amounts of pent-up anger. Those with more seniority bullied those with less, that was the normal state of things.

Shang Qinghua would occasionally utter a silent curse. Just wait until I1 take the Peak Lord’s seat, then see if I won’t… hehe.

However, he quickly extinguished these types of vain fantasies.

Think about it, taking the Peak Lord’s seat = having assistance from the demon realm = Mobei-Jun as boss = end result: getting thrown away by your boss as soon as he’s done with you, not even getting a good death.

It goes without saying—not worth it.

If Shang Qinghua could follow his original wishes, he would strip off his sect robes and roll up his bedding, rush out of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, escape the cultivation world, and rush towards a free life of poverty. Just relying on the pile of resources he collected to write a transmigration stallion novel in the past, such as how to make soap, glass, the abacus, he believed that he could create quite a good simple life, flowing with the winds and the waters, a prosperous and dazzling He Houhua! [T/N: He Houhua, a Macau financier and politician.]

But, as soon as these types of thoughts arose in his mind——

【Rule violation, point deduction.】

En, you tell me, what is the meaning of this?

So what if he transmigrated into his own stallion novel, why wasn’t he the protagonist.

So what if he wasn’t the protagonist, why was there this damned System!

It was all that OP’s fault. If he didn’t start sniping, he wouldn’t have gotten injured. And there was that Peerless Cucumber—may he never get a chance to use that cucumber his whole life!

Shang Qinghua moved box after box of heavy books from the ship onto a flatbed cart. Hooking up the horse, he was still chewing over his grudges without end.

These small things like shipping goods would normally be settled with a wave of the hand in cultivation novels. Looking at it this way and that, in the end, he could only blame himself. Damn it, no matter how low-magic the setting was, the hard labor still had to be done firm and steady. In the end, he dug this pit for himself.

Okay, in fact, what he really wanted to say was: Qing Jing Peak really fucking knows how to toss people around!

It’s them who make the most trouble! If you say to help Xian Shu Peak’s female celestials and fairy maidens carry cosmetics, hairpins, new clothes, and whatnot, though it is a bit tiring at least you feel sweet at heart. Hardship on the body, softness in the heart. But, acting as porters for Qing Jing Peak, what’s up with that?!

Every time they made a purchase, it would be hundreds and hundreds of kilograms of books. Then, they would make people from An Ding Peak huff and puff their way down the mountain to fetch them, then huff and puff their way back up to the peak. And they’re living the good life, their butts don’t leave their seats, their fingers don’t leave their instruments, just sitting and waiting for the goods to get delivered to their door.

What are you playing aloof for? If you have the ability then come down and get it yourself!

The other outer disciples were also complaining. “We know well and clear those Qing Jing Peak disciples look down on us from An Ding Peak, but time and again we still act as cows and horses for them.”

One person said indignantly, “Especially that Shen Qingqiu. He takes himself way too seriously. His eyes are growing on top of his head.”

“Even if that Xiu Ya Sword has a bit of a name, this really is too arrogant.”

“Hehe, he would even dare to provoke Bai Zhan’s head disciple Liu Qingge—how would he pay attention to nameless foot soldiers like us?”

“That temper of Bai Zhan peak, that temper of Liu Qingge, how has he not killed him yet?”

“How could that be? Do you think Yue-shixiong would watch and not stop him? With him there, Liu Qingge couldn’t kill Shen Qingqiu no matter what.”

An outer disciple who also entered Cang Qiong Mountain overage said sourly, “And I don’t know how Shen Qingqiu got chosen as head disciple after starting cultivation halfway. They say he had a good relationship with Yue-shixiong, but I’ve never seen him go to Qiong Ding Peak to see Yue-shixiong’s damn mask of a noble and virtuous face. But if you say they’re not friendly, it doesn’t seem like it either.”

Shang Qinghua kept his silence, unbearably stifled.

Ay! How I want to gossip, how I want to take the backstory outline I set up but ended up killing before birth and toss it in your face! No one’s more clear about these old affairs of years past than this Juju who can hide the sky with one hand!

The whole party’s grievances rushed towards the sky like a broken record. The more they talked, the angrier they got, envy and hatred mixing into a torrent, but who knows who they were trying to argue with? Shang Qinghua shrank back, driving the cart, as the mess of conversation rushed over in a laughing frenzy, cautiously not inserting a word. Don’t mind how enthusiastically they’re pouring out their sufferings now, you can’t say if they’ll covertly go and confess everything that was said today to the targets of the complaints someday in the future. Having a greedy mouth is fun for a while, but once someone reports on you and the other peaks’ disciples have their eyes on you, you’ll have to pack all that extra food and take it home. Popular opinion is vicious, you can’t forget to guard against it ah!

The road after rain was full of potholes. As the wheels rolled over it, the cart shook left and right. During one of the tilts, the System sent out a notification with a ding:

【Upcoming mission, be prepared.】

Hearing this, Shang Qinghua’s face creased into a chrysanthemum.

He smiled grovelingly. “System-dage2, aren’t cheating me a bit by being so brief with these messages every time? Couldn’t you clarify what the mission is? What preparations? Prepare for what? At least give me a hint, okay?”

The system spoke reservedly: 【You understand.】

Shang Qinghua: “…”

This old man3 doesn’t understand!

At that time, with a crack, the flatbed cart suddenly stopped moving, seemingly stuck on something on the ground.

The outer disciple shixiong on the cart and following behind all jolted along with it, swaying side to side. They were already steaming in anger, and right away began to smack the rails and curse in rage. “You moron, you can’t even drive a cart properly! Go already, what are you stopping for!”

Shang Qinghua didn’t know why it would suddenly get stuck either. Puzzled, he jumped off the cart. After a single glance, his soul flew off in fright.

The reason why the wheels couldn’t move was because the puddle in the hole they were stuck in had frozen into ice, freezing the wooden wheels solid.

In the air all around, a formless cold pressed down oppressively. Winter was cold, and Shang Qinghua’s heart was even colder. Shaking uncontrollably, he lifted his gaze.

A shadow draped with a black cloak slowly walked towards them head-on. Straight and tall, it was a vague figure of a youth.

The System said a few more words for once.

【Current opponent’s anger points: 1000.】

【Mission objective: survive.】

【Tip complete, wishing you best of luck.】

Shang Qinghua: “…”

Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky-juju had a bad habit, which was cutting outlines.

Before he would officially set pen to paper, he would first plant little sprouts in his novel and watch how the winds were blowing in the review sections. Using this information, he would decide which plotlines to choose from his overall outline.

For example, the Shen Qingqiu who had been called a “cheap person with no explanation” ten thousand times was a tragic product of outline cutting.

Oh, there was Bing-ge’s dad too. He was cut more fiercely and didn’t even appear.

The benefit of this method was reader service. At least it guaranteed they wouldn’t make the big dive of subscribing only to crash to their death in the pond.

The harms were that the buried foreshadowing would go to waste, loopholes all over the ground, full of potholes. Any readers who were slightly more stubborn had a bit more taste, and weren’t as easy to fool would rain curses on him without restraint.

Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky was often depressed about it too. Because, in fact, he didn’t always like writing that crazy face-slapping either, especially when it was always slapping the faces of a crowd of villains with IQs below the passing line. Once in a while, he also wanted to craft a three-dimensional villain, a cannon fodder with multiple sides, to show that he had also done some basic research on human nature, that he had also sought the literary ideal before.

But, the readers wouldn’t buy in. He wasn’t guaranteed to make a living.

So, compared to the readers and making a living, what do human nature and literary ideals count for hahahahahahahahahaha!

Back to the point. Precisely because of this bad habit, many of the original particulars were lost, doomed to suffocate before birth. For example…

When did Mobei-Jun capture4 Shang Qinghua?!

Naturally, the main text never brought it up. The main text’s plotline was Bing-ge oozing tyranny, slaughtering, and massacring all over the place. Who cares how this bastard cannon fodder became a spy?

And the parts that were lost would be automatically filled in by this world. Therefore, Airplane-juju completely lost his author’s advantage of foreknowledge. Therefore, when the plot began to develop, he was late by a good few beats before he entered the situation!

X-shixiong pulled his sword (as an An Ding disciple, never having gotten a chance to be unsheathed in eight hundred years) with a whoosh, yelling vigorously, “What sort of evildoer dares to cross us!”

The crowd of disciples were each incessantly stirred up, subsequently pulling their swords and yelling in anger, “You dare to appear in front of Cang Qiong Mountain disciples…”

Mobei-Jun was clearly in an exceptionally bad mood, he didn’t even let the cannon fodders finish their conventional opening speech. Cracks sounded out right away.

A storm of icy arrows swept through the air, people slammed to the ground one by one.

In Shang Qinghua’s heart, one side of him was shrieking while the other was roaring: So formidable! But also so handsome! Really fucking handsome!!!

But no matter if he was a demonic deity handsome enough to startle the heavens and make the lands weep, if he was destined to be killed by him in the future, Shang Qinghua definitely wouldn’t dare!

Suddenly, X-shixiong pushed at his shoulder. “Why aren’t you going!”

Shang Qinghua’s heart was like frying oil and roasting fire, but his mind was extremely sober. He stuck himself more securely onto the cart like chewing gum. “Go to do what?”

X-shixiong: “Defeat the demon and defend the righteous path, execute the Dao on behalf of heaven!”

Why don’t you go first? Shang Qinghua said, “Shixiong, after you!”

X-shixiong flew into a rage. “I told you to go so go! What’s all this nonsense!”

Joining with the others, their hands peeled and feet kicked at Shang Qinghua. How couldn’t he understand, this crowd of outer disciples just wanted him to stall Mobei-Jun to give them time to fight for their own escape. His heart was as clear as a mirror, his current position was extremely secure. Firmly holding his base of operations and refusing to be moved, he sobbed, “Shixiong, I don’t want to! Our comrades will remember you had the heart to make me go be cannon fodder at this sort of time!”

X-shixiong began to ramble incoherently in terror. “What cannon fodder. If you could defeat this demon race monster, you’ll definitely have earned great merit, fly like the divine steed Feihuang5 from now on. This is us outer disciples’ only way out; it’s right in front of your eyes at this very moment!”

Shang Qinghua realized he couldn’t hold onto the cart much longer. He whimpered like his organs were being ripped apart. “I’ll go, then. I’ll really go!”

bcnovels

Reika’s Notes:

  • This chapter is by Lily of BC Novels.
  • I realize that in most other Xianxia novels, our dearest author, Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky, would be the protagonist but in this story, he’s just a supporting character. He’s so funny, I actually really love him as a character!
  • In this context, “cutting outlines” would mean cutting out certain plots or scenes from the story. He did this to please the fans who wanted more action but meant that there were plotholes galore.
  • Please let me know if there are any errors.
  • Thanks for reading.

Previous Chapter      Table of Contents      Next Chapter

  1. 老子 lao zi This is an arrogant or joking way to refer to oneself. It’s sometimes translated as “I, your father.”
  2. 大哥 (da4 ge1), lit. ‘big brother’
  3. 老子 lao zi again. T/N: Trying to translate 老子 makes me sad.
  4. This could also mean “catch” or “gt him under his control”
  5. T/N: 飞黄腾达 (fei1 huang2 teng2 da2), lit. “the divine steed Feihuang gallops”, meaning to achieve meteoric success in one’s career

7 thoughts on “Chapter 89 – The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System”

  1. Everyone : *scared*
    Airplane bro : bae looks handsome even when angry
    System (n me) : u r not gonna use yar cucumber 2!!! *extreme maniacal laughter*

  2. “And there was that Peerless Cucumber—may he never get a chance to use that cucumber his whole life!”

    Teehee.

    Thanks for the great translation ♥️

  3. When Airplane shooting towards the sky cursed peerless cucumber to never be able to use his cucumber, and boi, did it came true. 😂😂😂

  4. Even after his death, Airplane is thinking about his fans, haha.

    Ohh, surprisingly… He thinks Mobei-Jun is handsome! Fufufu.

    Now we know why Mobei-Jun treats SQH like that, he learned from the other disciples! They are really mean.

    Thanks for the translation!

  5. What the efff…airplane and cucumber have been cursing each other to death (and plus) and succeed?? I am cry laughing odndlshhd

Leave a Comment - Name, email, and website are NOT required